The Root of the Week XVII

Thus far it's a symphony of picks this weekend, with the masses going either Redskins, Lions, Steelers, Falcons, or 49ers. Not all will find their way to the finish line, methinks, but then again me has thought wrong two weeks in a row.

The Swami rolls with Jimmy G and his red-hot band of goldsmiths. I thank the little Sheep for sitting pretty much their entire team.

That is all.

Friday Taunt XVI

It's that time of year, where we sit around our fires and hearths, and the holiday spirit rages within. 'Tis the season also for immense Swami Pool competitiveness for those souls who remain - our fearless eleven goes another undefeated week.

The cream will really rise though in Week 17 - who will make it to the end of the regular season? Will they hit the mark or crap out? One more weekend will tell for sure as our faithful eleven cocks back their arms, lets the dice fly one more time, and . . . 

That is all.

Friday Taunt XV (Plus the Root of the Week XVI)

The Reaper sat this last week out as the favorites went 14-0 ... and it really wasn't close. So our courageous eleven remaining souls venture into Week Sixteen, which is a much tougher prospect. 

Week 15 Stats
159 participants
1 undefeated soul
10 with one loss
148 deceased

Will the group make it to the end of the regular season?

Will anyone roll with the Bears against the Browns?

Will Cleveland succeed in its last best shot at a win?

Will the Swami Clan live to see another week?

So many questions ... stay tuned for answers ...

There is one answer however that can be given now. The Swami Clan in the form of the Factor will roll with Poe's Ravens to best the unLucky Colts in Week 16. In the battle of Bird vs Beast, who will reign supreme? Even answers bring more questions in this topsy-turvy 2017 NFL season.

That is all.

The Root of the Week XV

For those of us who remain, you will understand what the above image symbolizes; to remain alive you must have been stopping bullets ... all ... year ... long.

It has been one of the crazier seasons in recent memory, so much up and down, so many head-slapping upsets, so much rags-to-riches and riches-to-rags "this team is dominant oh wait now they've lost five straight?" and "this team is terrible they suc--wait what they are in the playoffs?"

And yet here we all stand, the bold and bright eleven, ready to raise our hand once more and give Mr. Smith and his Reaper the right proper finger. How, do you ask?

Many have elected to take the Ravens. A small smattering of solo Vikings and Saints and Redskins picks. The rest ride with Jacksonville and put their faith in the ferocious felines.

Jaguars for the win in Week 15? Previously unheard of. But the Swami, too, likes a good story ... and so the Factor will roll the Jaguar dice in Week 15, along with several others.

I know what you're thinking, those of you who have sadly departed: why didn't I take the blue pill?

That is all.

Thursday Taunt XIV

We near the end and we bid adieu to those who have breathed their final breaths: nine of our fellow brothers and sisters have fallen. There is but one undefeated remaining - the trusty veteran Mad Dog - but even he required a Packer comeback victory to survive Week 14. We said there would be losses, we said the Reaper was waiting ... and waiting he was, indeed. He waited in Bengal Land and he waited in Titan Territory, and he was not disappointed as nine felt the swipe of the scythe - but not him.

And so we enter Week 15 with just a handful of participants left, each step bringing us closer to the closing bell. Who will survive? How will it end? Only Truman knows for sure.

Week 15 Stats
159 participants
1 undefeated 
10 with one loss
9 week 14 losers
1 Swami entry remaining

So blow on those dice, wind up and let her rip. You dance with destiny awaits in Week 15.

That is all.

The Root of the Week XIV

"Why, Johnny Ringo ... you look like someone just walked over your grave."

The infamous red sashes are NOT part of the Cowboys uniform, which means I have no qualms about taking them for the official Swami Clan pick this week - except of course that doing so breaks two rules: (1) no road teams, and (2) no teams playing in their division. That, and the Giants have caused much mayhem this season with their very modest win total.

The masses have scattered to the four winds and it is certain not all will survive. Bengals, Titans, Bills, Cowboys, Packers, Chiefs, Steelers, and Chargers all have gotten run this week; not all of those teams will win. Root for your and against the rest, and come Monday perhaps we will have a few more Reaper-ed 

Still, despite trepidation, it is Week Fourteen - which means rules are made to broken and very little remains. The pickings are slim, indeed.

The Factor rides with the Cowboys this week.

"Well ... bye."

Friday Taunt XIII

The cream has really risen to the top, as they say. Thirteen is unlucky in many cultures and hotels across the world, but for our purposes Marino Week treated all participants quite kindly - the Reaper sat this one out and everyone moves merrily into Week 14.

Weekly Statistics
159 participants
2 undefeated
18 with one loss
139 deceased
0 week 13 losers

The Beloveds won, the Titans won, the Jaguars won, and the Chargers won. That's an amazing assortment of winner to move the masses along.

With four weeks left in the Regular Season and twenty remaining, it seems highly likely we will reach the playoffs yet again. Methinks, however, that we will lose some people this week - 'tis a tough one.

That is all.

The Root of Marino Week

Well, something's gotta give. The Beloveds have lost five straight and the Broncos have lost seven straight. Therefore, playing at home, it is quite clear that the Beloveds are the favorite. The Swami will put the last remaining Swami Clan entry (aka the Factor) on the Beloveds to win in Marino Week - as it should be.

Most of you are on the Chargers with a smattering on the Jaguars.

You know what terrifies me? Picking the Chargers for any reason. You know what else terrifies me? Picking against winless teams once they hit the 0-10 mark. Desperation and the Chargers do not make for great bedfellows. Good luck to you.

That is all.

Wednesday Taunt XII

To those who participated, congratulations. To those who have departed, we salute you. To those who remain, we welcome you to the Top 20.

We lost a pair of Sinics and a couple of Dogs, as well as one Monarch, to drop our numbers by five; we reside at the 20 spot as we enter the Week of Marino.

Week 12 Stats

159 participants

2 undefeated

18 with one loss

139 deceased

Marino Week is always an excellent source of excellent as the cream truly begins to rise to the top. There is little time left, just five weeks until the playoffs - we will make it there? It is looking more and more likely, but in this crazy season of 2017, who knows for sure. The Reaper, so aggressive and unchecked early in the year, has quieted of late, so perhaps we will see the end of the regular season once again.

Onward we merrily roll into luck number thirteen.

That is all.

The Root of the Thanksgiving Taunt XI/XII

We are thankful for so many things on this fine Thanksgiving Holiday, the gift of life, the gift of freedom, the gift of living and breathing in this most excellent nation of ours. Of course, we had another gift given to all but two of us at some point over the past eleven weeks. Yes, my friends, it is . . . 

The Gift of Disappointment.

Only two participants can claim the ranks of the undefeated, Pigskin Fever and the Mad Dog's firstborn. We have only a quarter's worth of participants left -- twenty five for those keeping score at home.

The Chiefs did their dastardly disappearing act for the second time this season and the Reaper was there to lop off the unlucky heads. Eighteen went down to defeat for the second and final time, plus five previously unbeaten.

Week Eleven Stats

159 participants

2 undefeated

23 with one loss

134 deceased

There are three games on the docket today - maybe some takers, but I doubt much in the way of action on these three. Still, the Swami will lay down the pick for our clan's lone remaining living entry: the Factor carries the torch for us all. The Steelers it is in Week Twelve - if they win, we advance. If they lose, at least Packer Nation can celebrate a win again.

A Happy Thanksgiving to all and may this week's play bring enjoyment, not disappointment, to you all.

That is all.

The Root of the Week XI

There are many excellent things in this world associated with the number 43. I shall list a few for you - seven to be exact, and naturally of course, as seven is the sum of 4 and 3.

1) Richard Petty's car.

2) The world's number one Spanish liqueur. 

3) The battled-tested Glock.

4) The largest non-McNugget number.

5) The Princess 43.

6) Troy Polamalu's number*.

And last but certainly not least ...

7) The number of remaining participants in the Swami pool. Yes, we have 43 brave souls remaining - an astoundingly high number given the pace we were on but a couple weeks ago. And yet ... and yet ... here we are nonetheless.

There are still a handful of multiples alive, as well - that is to say, participants with multiple entries still alive. The Swami himself is one: Factor, Spawn, and Darth all still beat their hearts proudly and with all the passion they can muster up.

Still - it is difficult to win one's own pool and so it is time to take some calculated (read: wildly entertaining and likely to fail) chances. The Spawn has drawn the short stick.

Therefore, it is my pleasure and honor to announce that the selection for Week Eleven of the Spawn of Swami shall be . . . the mighty, mighty Cleveland Browns. Yes, you heard right - the Spawn is taking a flying leap off a very short cliff and banking on just that one win by Cleveland at home against the up and down Jags. Up and down, up and down, but the down would have to be DOWN for Spawn to stay alive.

Darth and the Factor will, in the meantime, stay the present competitive course: 'tis the Chiefs for them, along with many others. Most of the action is on Kansas City, along with a smattering of Saints, Chargers (?!), and Jaguars. Only the Spawn has taken the Browns - and I mean not just this week, but the entire season.

Are you not entertained?

That is all.




*You just did not know it due to his awesomely excessive hair.

Friday Taunt X

When the Browns went up 10-0 on the Lions this past weekend, a few poor souls texted me in a state of mini-panic. The Lions and Rams accounted for 95% of picks this weekend and a Cleveland win would've meant utter chaos and heavy devastation.

I was quite calm. It's Cleveland, I reminded them. Just take a deep breath and say the magic words: "Because Cleveland." Before long, all was right with the world again ... except in the Dawg-Pound, which has to live with this year-in and year-out.

Still, winless teams become dangerous as the season wears thin - at some point, a win is coming, and the athletes get more desperate the deeper we get into winter. So while Cleveland is still a very enticing opponent, be very wary when you choose to bet against them now. This has been a special message from the Swami.

Week 10 Stats

159 participants

7 undefeated at 10-0

36 with one loss at 9-1

0 week nine losers

116 defeated

Yes, no one lost. That's why this group is still around. #winners

That is all.

xx

The Root of the Week X

With all possible apologies to Indiana Jones, whose first film Darth Bennett just watched for the first time this very weekend - his comment to the face melting was "get wrecked" - but "X" most certainly does mark the spot.

It marks our move into the tenth week of the Swami Pool, which means any team chosen from here on out is eliminated entirely from future selection - no more soup for you.

It marks our move into double digits, which should be a measure of pride for all those participants who have survived thus far - particularly in a crazy season like this one.

It marks the tip of the second half of the season, which as I have said really starts at the playoff delineation line, and for those lucky enough to experience it you are in for a treat - just the tip of the second half, just to see how it feels.

It marks the entrance to the catacombs for Indy on his Last Crusade.

It is my sincere hope that X does not also mark the spot in which a plethora of participants get eliminated because Cleveland decides it is time to win its annual game.

Lions and Rams and Panthers, oh my - the masses like the animals this week.

Mark the Swami and Clan down entirely on the Lions. Because, as you know, Cleveland.

That is all.

Wednesday Taunt IX

For those of you who still remain, forty-four to be exact, your exit nears as exits are wont to do as seasons come and go. We shed ten more souls this weekend following Seahawk-ian destruction, with a smattering of others.

Week Nine Stats

159 participants

7 undefeated at 9-0

36 with one loss at 8-1

12 week nine losers

116 defeated

We have now reached the double digit mark; for those unschooled, double digits means the playoff rule goes into effect. Any team previously selected (weeks 1-9) can be reused if we must go into the NFL playoffs to find our champion; any team selected from here on out is a one-and-done and cannot be reused down the road.

Onward we go to Week Ten. For all those who near the end of their road, the exit is coming up on the right.

That is all.

The Root of the Week IX

The prognostication is underway. The action has bounced around with several participants on the Vikings, Saints, Jaguars, Rams, and Eagles. After a "no-loss" Week Eight, we've got to get something successful out of this season.

The Swami has looked into his crystal and discovered all. The Swami and Spawn look to roll with the Chiefs, while the Factor and Darth are on board for the breeziest Brees in New Orleans.

That is all.

Saturday Taunt VIII

The old yin and yang of the NFL season, once again proving that the coin has two sides. Chaos and destruction rained down upon the participants in the first few weeks, but now the scythe has gone quite calm. In point of fact, there were NO losers in Week Eight.

The Bengals, Saints, Vikings, and a couple others came through to carry everyone to victory, and to a fun conversation about Week Nine - which looms.

We will see if the update carries with it any news in days to come.

That is all.

The Root of the Week VIII

Rohan Bendre would be so proud.

A week of peace and calm followed three tumultuous weeks of chaos and strife; we are still sitting in single digit weeks and yet a full two-thirds of participants have already met the Reaper a second time, and the second time means likewise you meet your Maker.

We still have Week Eight and Week Nine to pick teams that are re-usable in the NFL playoffs - not that any pool veteran actually thinks we will get there at this rate. 2017 has all the makings of an exciting regular season finish.

But who to choose in Week Eight? 

Not even the Swami Clan is immune to pick error - the Lady of Avalor was too prone to Texans and has been eliminated upon spreadsheet review, leaving but four remaining. We shall divide our efforts this week to conquer the Reaper for a Saintly Tiger combination.

The Swami and the Spawn will ride the Brees this week and sing with the heavenly angels and Saints. Darth Bennett and the Factor will stalk and stripe their way into next week on the backs of the Bengal Tigers. Two by two, and that's how we roll in cover formation.

That is all.

Friday Taunt VII

Phew.

At last a week with limited chaos, at last a brief respite from the craziness of this NFL season. In fact most damage this week was done by participant neglect - not getting picks in properly. The default pick system worked to no one's favor.

Week Seven Stats

159 participants

8 undefeated, including two Swami Clan members

46 with one loss

105 deceased

For those remaining, not a bad idea at this point to review your picks on the spreadsheet, for two reasons: (1) make sure what you sent me matches up with what is on the sheet, and (2) to remember correctly what picks you have made.

Reminder also that Week Nine is the last week of our playoff rules repick, not that this ridiculous season is likely to get to the playoffs. Good times.

That is all.

The Root of the Week VII - Turbo Edition

The Swami is on his way out of town so a super quick blog post this week, simply to say the Swami Clan is going all in on Tennessee this week.

Because Cleveland.

It should be its own rule: when in significant doubt, Cleveland.

That is all.

Thursday Taunt VI

Everyone needs a crystal ball - this crazy mixed up NFL season follows no discernible path or plan. There are no safe bets, none at all. Well, let me add a caveat to that statement.

Because Cleveland.

But aside from simply following the Browns around to pick against them, there is no safe harbor upon which to shuttle your anchor. Home teams? Not safe. Double digit favorites? Nope, not having it. The rules this season seem more like guide lines than rules, and many have been made to be broken.

Except "do not bet against the Beloveds", and shame on those who did.

Week Six Stats

159 participants

7 undefeated at 6-0, including Swami Clan members Spawn of Swami and the Factor

51 with one loss at 5-1, including the Swami himself plus Darth Bennett and Avery of Avalor

35 who rode the broncos to a mile-high defeat

21 who soared with the falcons

101 deceased

Good times a-comin in the Pool in Week the Eighth.

That is all.

The Root of the Week VI

It is worth reminding those who have forgotten - as well as those who have not yet heard - of the Swami Hex. To pick against the Swami's Beloved Dolphins incurs the wrath of the Swami, and brings down upon thee the dreaded Swami Hex.

No participant with the Hex in place has ever won the Swami Pool.

How do you get rid of the Hex if you have it on you? You must pick the Dolphins to win, and win. Otherwise, only getting knocked out of the pool entirely ends the Hex.

The Falcons are a popular pick despite this warning. We shall see just what fate and fortune brings this crazy mixed up NFL Week Six. Texans are another popular pick, as are the Broncos. Redskins bringing up the rear.

As for the Swami Clan, picks this week are as follows as we venture into different directions for the first time in several weeks: Swami himself rides the Broncos, the Factor factors in for the Texans, Avalor as well supports Houston, the Spawn scalps alongside the Redskins, and Darth joins his patriarch in Denver. Not all of us will get through unscathed.

That is all.

Friday Taunt V

The Reaper has landed. The Curse of Week Five strikes again. Like the ninth episode in a season of Game of Thrones, the Swami Pool has seen incredible consistency in the death and devastation that rains down upon participants in each year's fifth week.

Last season was the only season since 2010 that has not brought widespread loss in Week Five; 2017 shows us the exception proves the rule as we are right back to it.

The Steelers were the primary culprits -- Big Ben's ticking clock expired, taking 47 souls right along with him. Throw the Raiders, Cowboys, Lions, Giants, Texans, and Bears (oh my) in there and you have a waterloo ... er, watershed week.

Week Five Stats

159 participants

24 undefeated at 5-0, including yours truly

74 with one loss at 4-1

64 week five losers

61 deceased

This season is absolutely ridiculous. Two weeks with two "lock picks", essential coin flips for who to choose, and both weeks one side of the coin lost their game: Falcons last week, Steelers this week. The Steelers, as it happens, are responsible for more losses thus far this season than any other team.

Lucky for the Swami, both coin flips happened to work out just fine. Hence why I reside in the Land of 24, crystal ball in tow. Here's hoping I remain there along with my 23 fellows into the long future.

Onward to Week Six.

That is all.

The Root of the Week V

It's 9:52am as I cut it very close to the wire with my own particular pick. The masses are moving to Steel-Town and riding the arm of Big Ben, but coming in close second are the Mighty Birds of the City of Brotherly Love. A few Chiefs, a Giants, scattered others.

But the Steelers and Eagles are the big picks this week.

The Swami and clan with roll as one again with Philly.

That is all.

Friday Taunt IV

schizophrenia ... schiz·o·phre·ni·a [skitsəˈfrēnēə,ˌskitsəˈfrenēə]

noun // origin: from the Greek skhizein (to split) and phrēn (mind)

(1) long-term mental disorder of a type involving a breakdown in the relation between thought, emotion, behavior, characterized by withdrawal from reality into fantasy and delusion, and mental fragmentation.

(2) in general use, a mentality or approach characterized by inconsistent or contradictory elements.

--

It is official, my friends: this season of the National Football League is schizophrenic. There is a saying a very old saying about any given Sunday any team can beat any team in the NFL, and for a good chunk of years that has not really been the true mantra. There have been safe haven teams, dominant squads who you know time and again will power you through to a win against specific types of opponents.

This is why we have rules.

But there is not even safety in rules this season, not when we see the Falcons drop a home game to the Bills, the Cowboys drop a home game to the Rams, and the Patriots have already lost two games in Foxboro and we're only at the quarter mark of the season.

I am reminded of Munch and his iconic image of despair. Yes, the Swami himself sits undefeated, but I have my crystal ball to guide me ... the masses must rely on their own intuition and intelligence, and the NFL season thus far had shredded both reason and logic on its merry way to Week Five.

Week Four Statistics

56 participants undefeated at 4-0, including yours truly

74 participants with one loss at 3-1

63 week four losers

29 deceased with two losses

The Reaper does love despair; I should remind all of you that, historically, Week Five has been a bloodbath. Scream if you must, but scrap and claw and fight your way through to Week Six. When the dust settles we shall see how many of us remain, and how many have passed to the other side of night.

That is all.

The Root of the Week IV

Oh, what to do, what to do.

There are two clear choices this week, two lock pick-of-the-weeks that will advance participants to Week the Fifth. And yet . . . and yet . . . which to choose . . .

The Seahawks are at home, which means they will have an extra 12th Man on the field. The Falcons are at home, and steamrolling everyone. Neither pick breaks rules, neither opponent presents any challenges.

Flip a coin? No sir, the Swami shall utilize the crystal ball and look forward all the way through Week Nine, and the end of playoff implications. Which team will be needed in later weeks on a greater scale? Atlanta has good matchups farther down the road. The choice, therefore, is clear.

The Flying Hawks of the Sea, it is; Swami and Clan rolls with you en masse.

That is all.

Friday Taunt III

There is no point to argue: the man is the GOAT. This is of course coming from an unabashed Marino lover; #13 is the best pure thrower of all-time, but cannot be the GOAT with the RINGS. Bradshaw, Montana, Elway, Manning, etc, etc, etc. If someone wants to make a strong case for Otto Graham, I'm all ears. But Brady is the GOAT - and I do not see anyone dethroning him. It's a very exclusive company that is allowed to call Tom Brady; as Kobe says, he'll pick up on the fifth ring. 

More magic in Foxboro as the masses avoid a massive scything; we still drop-kicked a fair number. Twenty-seven fell victim in Week Three to the Broncos, Panthers, Seahawks, Steelers, Ravens, and yes even my Beloveds felled a fair few.

Week Three Stats
159 participants
101 undefeated
47 with one loss
11 deceased

Week Four is right around the corner - a fair few have already advanced with a Thursday night Packers win. It is on the rest of us to join them.

That is all.

The Root of the Week III

An early Root this week, Week the Third, as Swami does not know what his wireless capabilities will be come Saturday night as he will be meditating in a hut in the middles of the Himalayas, looking for enlightenment and a small spec of a sense of what will transpire in weeks to come in this most excellent NFL 2017 season.

One thing to be banked on fully? New England will not lost two games in a row at home.

Do you think the Houston Texans are already game planning for Week Four, just because this weekend is likely to be such a catastrophe? Perhaps they think they would be better served preparing for Tennessee?

The Swami moves en masse on the Patriots -- Swami, Spawn, Lady Avery, Factor, and Darth -- and feels extremely happy to be advancing to Week Four.

That is all.

Friday Taunt II

Very little action in Week Two, thanks in large part to a pair of West Coast teams: the Raiders and Seahawks accounted for 79% of participant selections ... to great and glorious success. The remaining 21% took their chances on other squads, mostly victoriously.

Week Two Stats

159 participants

118 undefeated

40 with one loss

1 deceased

Sadly, the Back Nine was not kind to Ben's Bengals, Ice went the Rams, Dem Cowboys did not help D-White, Sleepytime the 26th was rendered comatose by the Tiger Stripes, the Giants were not so Rajdandy, and Lushing must have been inebriated to pick against the Beloveds and on the Chargers prior to Week Six, breaking the two most inviolate rules in the process.

Only one participant has fallen ... and we congratulate D-White 03 on claiming the Mr. Irrelevant prize for 2017. The Reaper welcomes you into black-cloaked arms.

That is all.

The Root of the Week II

In by-gone times, it was virtually unheard of for a participant of the Swami Pool to even consider the course of action that so many participants have chosen this week, Week the Second. Silver and Black? 'Twas not a team to be picked, 'twas instead a comely pair of comic book anti-heroines.

*Yes, these are actual comic characters and, yes, they are slated for their own movie as a spin-off of the Spider-Man cinematic universe. But I digress.

The smart money is coming in fast and furious on the Raidahs, pick after pick in email after email ... Raiders, Raiders, Raiders. There are two teams currently that break up the litany: Seahawks and Ravens also get a little bit of play. But the Raiders take the cake by wide margin.

The Raiders are good, yes, but this is more a statement methinks on the ineptitude of the J-E-T-S than any particular (circle of) excellence on the part of Carr's Company, but still.

Still.

The Reaper sharpens his scythe this week hoping for one, just one of the chosen three to fall ... he will be pleased if the silver and black or the Gang Green or the Edgar Allen Poe's drop-kick a few participants into the double loss, therefore granting just a little carnage this fine weekend in September.

In other news, the Swami will also go with the group in this Week the Second. He will be parking his faith in none other than the beautiful and semi-unimportant.

That is all, faithful subjects. Bid you adieu, until the morn.

That is all.

Swami

The Inaugural Taunt of 2017 - Week One (I)

It was not, shall we say, the smoothest of first weekends. There has been difficulty in the past for people getting through the first weekend, but when fully 20% of participants succumb to loss one in week one, 'not smooth' is one delicate way to describe it.

Face-smacking, palm-slapping 'of all the gosh darn darn' is another.

Week One Statistics

159 participants

124 sitting pretty at 1-0

35 hoping to run the table henceforth

1 loss for Clan Swami, with Avery of Avalor getting Jaguar-ed

0 deceased, because that would be a true feat

The Pool is off and running. The games have begun.

That is all.

The Root of the Week I

Everyone loves this time of year in football. As Outkast tells us, the world in September is "so fresh and so clean clean." It is glorious time, full of new beginnings and new hopes and dreams. As I myself said last year at this time, there is magic in the air -- the kind of magic only the fall can bring.

Ladies and gentlemen, glorious individuals, heroes, villains, lovers, and friends, I bid you welcome once more to the halls of the Swami Pool. Allow myself to introduce myself, your host, the mischievous, oft-villainous, perhaps murderous, always iniquitous Swami of House Me, first of my name.

Most of those who partake this year are returners, and as such returners know well the Two Staples and Five Rules of the Swami Pool. The Rules are there to help and guide you, to assist you in your significant quest to stay one step ahead of the Reaper himself, who always and ever lurks in the shadows, awaiting your falter. But how, you say, how best to avoid the black-cloaked scythe-wielder? How best to ensure you are the one left standing when the dust settles?

The Five Rules hope to guide you through to the promised land. Rules are made to be broken, 'tis true, and more rules than one cares to admit will be broken this weekend -- even more than last season, which sought to set a record -- but still you must know them, still you must lay your head on the pillow and remember them, still you must strive to let them keep you safe.

The Five Rules for making selections in the Swami Pool are as follows: (1) Never pick a road team; (2) Never pick a team playing a team within its own division; (3) Never pick the Chargers prior to Week Six; (4) Never pick the same team with all five of your entries; and, most importantly, (5) Never pick against the Swami's orange and aqua Beloveds, lest you risk the Swami Hex. Know ye, and remember: it is written in sand and stone and fire that no participant who picks the Dolphins to lose shall ever win the Suicide Pool.

*Week One 2017 Caveat: this week deserves to have its own caveat. There are no easy matchups and the NFL schedulers have seen fit to have many, many divisional matchups -- more than we have seen in Week One in a long time. Week One is always tough -- case in point, many participants crashed and burned already on the Patriots on Thursday night (no one apparently remembered that the Chiefs were an extremely popular Week One pick last season). But the action otherwise is all over the place.

The Two Staples of the Suicide Pool are the Root of the Week and the Taunt. In the former, the Swami lays down his own weekly pick in advance of Sunday play, as well as the trending popular selections (and while the NFL has dropped Roman Numerals, not so shall the Swami's Root). In the latter, he taunts all those who perished the weekend prior with a mid-week blog post and group email. The Swami, you will come to know, loves chaos, and relishes it.

Rules are made to be broken, however -- and while the Swami breaks far fewer Rules than any other, Week One will need to invoke the Caveat. Swami, and indeed the whole Swami Clan, will be breaking Rules right along with the rest of the masses.

Swami and the Spawn will take Pittsburgh, as we go all-in on Steel Town and entirely against the lowly Land of Cleve, Darth and the Factor will fly with the Dirty Birds to best the Hibernating Bears, and our newest participant Avery of Avalor will shine her princess light on JJ Watt and the Lonestar flag. Because Blake Bortles.

And so, once more without further ado, I declare this newest season of the Swami Pool officially open.

That is all.

Welcome to the Swami Pool of 2017 ... Better Late Than Never

Well ... did you?

Hello my lovelies, my beautiful people, and my apologies for making you sweat the return of our beloved Swami Pool into this sweltering September. The wait was long, but as a wise man once said, better late than never, and so here we stand at the start of the journey, ready to ring the bell to announce the return of the NFL Suicide Pool, and yours truly.

Are you recovered from your 2016 Swami Pool campaign, ready to throw yourself back into the waters of chaos and devastation that only the football season knows? Ready or not, recovered or not, time waits for no man ... or as another wise Seaworth once said, no one curse words you harder than time.

And so, as they say, to business.

Let this post serve as your official reference point for all things related to the Swami Pool. The Pool has a simple premise: you pick the winner of one single NFL game each week (straight up, no point spreads) and if the team you choose wins their game, you advance to the next week.

If your team loses, you take a loss, and in the Swami's Pool two losses eliminates you from competition. You may not pick the same team twice during the regular season (see below for special playoff rules). There are additional details, of course, but the above is the general gist of things.

That's it, although you are still highly encouraged to read the following in-depth breakdown in its entirety, even those who are experienced Swami Suicide Pool veterans.

(1) Entries - Each participant may enter a minimum of one (1) and a maximum of five (5) entries.

(2) Picks - You pick the winner of a single NFL game each week. No point spreads are involved, which means you pick the straight-up winner. Please note that ties count as losses. Kindly email your weekly picks to SwamiSuicidePool@gmail.com.

(3) Deadline -You must get your pick in by the start of your chosen team’s game (kick-off). If you neglect to send a pick in a given week, the default pick is the home team for the Monday night game. If you have already used that team, the Monday night visiting team is your selection. If you have already used both teams, you lose.

(4) Format - This is a double-elimination tournament; you are allowed one loss. Uno, dos, adios!

(5) Disputes - If rule clarifications or amendments are required mid-season (unlikely) or in the event of disputes (also unlikely), all decisions made by the Swami are final.

(6) Updates - An update email will be sent each week with the number of surviving players, the coming week's schedule of games, and pick selections from the previous weeks. The update will usually come Tuesday, although the Swami reserves the right to stretch it later into the week, if needed. You can also check this blog for the update. Additionally, the Swami will post his own weekly pick on Saturdays prior to Sunday play, lest he picks the Thursday game, in which case twill be posted on the Day of Wednes.

(7) Playoffs - The playoff structure for 2017 is identical to the format used the past seven seasons. Starting in Week Ten (10) of the regular season, any team chosen by a participant is NOT eligible to be selected in the playoffs, where the standard Swami Rules will apply (i.e. you select one team to win per weekend playoff round). Teams chosen in Weeks One thru Nine (1-9) will be available to be re-selected in the playoffs.

Kindly address questions to the Swami at SwamiSuicidePool@gmail.com.

And so I will leave you all for the time being as I retire to the sanctity of my inner sanctum; my robes and my crystal ball await, my all-seeing eye is twitching, and the Reaper waits beyond yonder door, at the ready should I stumble. I will return in short order with the first Root of the Week as the world waits eagerly on the eve of gridiron battle.

Let the Swami ride again.

That is all.

Friday Taunt - Divisional Round

Upsets upsets are no fair, upsets upsets everywhere.

Well, that went south in a hurry. We entered the playoffs with thirteen souls and an undefeated team, each participant brimming with picks and options to spare, and now ... there is little that is brimming. By virtue of Cowboys and Chiefs losses, as well as the fact that many participants declined to save the Patriots for Superbowl use, some participants have actually run out of picks.

Ten remain, ten brave souls who have spent months agonizing over minute football details, and here we are with only a pair of weekends remaining. It will get to the Superbowl ... Ber & Her remains undefeated. But beyond that truth, I have none. It is looking more and more likely that we will enjoy a split pot scenario, but not necessarily --- there are still paths through the maze and an outright win is still possible.

Onward to the finish, onward to glory. Let the football gods decide.

That is all.