The Root of the Week IV

In times of chaos it is good to reflect upon historical achievements to fuel one's successes in the moment. It was Week 10 of 2013 that featured one of the great Swami moments in the annals of this glorious pool: the selection of the winless (0-9) Jaguars to best a strong Titans squad of that time. Ninety-two participants, which represented most of the remaining field, selected the Titans to win.

The Swami went with the Jags.

It was a flying leap into an unknown abyss ... it just so happened the abyss was filled with the sounds of victory and happiness, and the Swami went on to finish Top Five in the pool that year while the 92 fell by the swipe the Reaper's titan-sized scythe.

In this time of chaos, when no one knows what will truly happen, when the Beloveds have a two-game lead in the AFC East and still celebrate with their '72 brethren, when the Reaper is so tired after all his work last weekend that he cannot possibly lift himself to work once more and perhaps has imposed a one-week hiatus, the Swami will return to historic achievement.

The Jags for the Clan, if you please.

That is all.

Friday Taunt IV

schizophrenia ... schiz·o·phre·ni·a [skitsəˈfrēnēə,ˌskitsəˈfrenēə]

noun // origin: from the Greek skhizein (to split) and phrēn (mind)

(1) long-term mental disorder of a type involving a breakdown in the relation between thought, emotion, behavior, characterized by withdrawal from reality into fantasy and delusion, and mental fragmentation.

(2) in general use, a mentality or approach characterized by inconsistent or contradictory elements.

--

It is official, my friends: this season of the National Football League is schizophrenic. There is a saying a very old saying about any given Sunday any team can beat any team in the NFL, and for a good chunk of years that has not really been the true mantra. There have been safe haven teams, dominant squads who you know time and again will power you through to a win against specific types of opponents.

This is why we have rules.

But there is not even safety in rules this season, not when we see the Falcons drop a home game to the Bills, the Cowboys drop a home game to the Rams, and the Patriots have already lost two games in Foxboro and we're only at the quarter mark of the season.

I am reminded of Munch and his iconic image of despair. Yes, the Swami himself sits undefeated, but I have my crystal ball to guide me ... the masses must rely on their own intuition and intelligence, and the NFL season thus far had shredded both reason and logic on its merry way to Week Five.

Week Four Statistics

56 participants undefeated at 4-0, including yours truly

74 participants with one loss at 3-1

63 week four losers

29 deceased with two losses

The Reaper does love despair; I should remind all of you that, historically, Week Five has been a bloodbath. Scream if you must, but scrap and claw and fight your way through to Week Six. When the dust settles we shall see how many of us remain, and how many have passed to the other side of night.

That is all.

The Root of the Week IV

Oh, what to do, what to do.

There are two clear choices this week, two lock pick-of-the-weeks that will advance participants to Week the Fifth. And yet . . . and yet . . . which to choose . . .

The Seahawks are at home, which means they will have an extra 12th Man on the field. The Falcons are at home, and steamrolling everyone. Neither pick breaks rules, neither opponent presents any challenges.

Flip a coin? No sir, the Swami shall utilize the crystal ball and look forward all the way through Week Nine, and the end of playoff implications. Which team will be needed in later weeks on a greater scale? Atlanta has good matchups farther down the road. The choice, therefore, is clear.

The Flying Hawks of the Sea, it is; Swami and Clan rolls with you en masse.

That is all.

The Root of the Week IV

Five minutes to kick-off, two games already completed with the Bengals besting the Beloveds on Thursday and the Jags horse-collaring the Colts across the pond. The masses are moving in many directions this week, too many to chart fully. Cardinals, Redskins, Texans, Vikings, Patriots, and others all get play this week.

And so the Swami Clan moves as well in four different directions this week, taking one apiece the Redskins, Vikings, Patriots, and Cardinals. I myself roll with Ze German's beloved Redskins, in honor of his selection of my own Beloveds last week. Hopefully it works out as well for me as it did for him.

Onward we merrily roll into Week Four.

That is all.

Tuesday Taunt IV

He has come for me ... and so I must go. The Swami has fallen, long live the Swami. The birds were shot down mid-flight, taking the Swami and 26 others with them. After the devastation of the Week That Shall Not Be Named, there is no hiding place.

The Reaper hovers over the Pool, unrelenting, unshakable.

Week Four Statistics
189 participants
13 players at 4-0
128 with one loss

27 week three losers

48 deceased

I'm off to the Happiest Place on the morrow for birthday celebrations, and perhaps to salve the wounds of this short season, the shortest season of all in personal Swami history. Fittingly my end came about in Week Four, when the darkness took me.

To quoth the raven, "Nevermore."

That is all.

The Root of the Week IV ... London Calling

When one glances at the schedule for Week Four of this most excellent 2014 NFL season, one realizes quite quickly that there are few, very few enticing options for risk-averse participants to choose from. It seems this means the masses are moving in divergent directions, which means the potential for chaos is high.

That, and participants be breaking rules all over the place. That sound you hear is the Reaper sharpening his scythe.

Let us consider your foolish ways in depths, oh masses, so that in future weeks or more likely future NFL seasons--should the weekend prove perilous--you might remember the wise words of Swami, you might heed the call, you might adhere to the rules.

There are four, merely four, slightly viable candidates this weekend. Three of this options, at first blush, break rules in dramatic fashion. The first game is my Beloveds at Oakland, but Rule #1 says never pick a team on the road. The second game is Tennessee at Indianapolis, but Rule #2 says never pick a team playing in its own division. And last, finally, last but certainly not least, so many of you, so very many, are taking the Chargers to win at home against the Jaguars, which demolishes Rule #3 which says NEVER EVER pick a game (for or against) that involve the Chargers before Week Six. 

I am actually concerned, because some of those participants picking the Chargers are those who have been with us for years. You know who you are. Been here for years, but seemingly not long for the world. Rule #3 is sacrosanct, the most unbreakable of all.

Don't pick the Chargers before Week Six. Don't pick the Chargers before Week Six. Don't pick the Chargers before Week Six. Rinse, Repeat.

Which leaves the Steelers as the obvious choice, at home, out of division, with nary a bolt in sight. Still, Big Ben versus the Bucs leaves little in the way of secure feelings at night, and twas in this moment that realization struck and the pathway was clear: the road game at Oakland is not so much a "road" game given the Silver and Black need travel seven thousand miles. 

And so it came to pass that the Swami came to rest upon his Beloveds in Week Four, as fine a place to rest as ever there was, and after a spot of tea and a dance with the Queen on a fair and overcast Sunday afternoon, so too would it come to pass that the Swami and his brood would pass unscathed to Week Five.

That is all.

Thursday Taunt IV

Listen to the rules and you won't get hurt. Many followed the rules this week, many did not. Those who did not fall into two categories: (1) those who broke the Swami's Rules; and (2) those who broke the Swami's heart.

Week Four Statistics
81 undefeated at 4-0
62 with one loss at 3-1
17 deceased 

Now, those who broke the Rules did not survive Week 04, as Death himself led a merry band of miscreants on a lovely little parade: 13 to the purgatory of one loss, 9 to their ultimate demise. And yet, these were the lucky ones.

Those who broke the Swami's heart, those who bet against the Beloveds, those who watched with glee on Monday night . . . let it be known that the Swami Hex does not dissipate after just one week. It is an everlasting curse, and no participant has ever won this pool in a season in which they bet against the Dolphins. So good luck, you 31 souls who survived this week, yes, but already I hear the sharpening of the scythe.

Week Five has long been known as one of the most dangerous in Suicide lore, and a Hex is no small thing to deal with. And if you hear that sweet, sweet music playing as the parade rolls by, let not your own heart be troubled as you rise, trance-like, and follow.

Jobu is waiting for you at the finish.

That is all.

The Root of the Week IV

How dare you.

How dare you dubious degenerates, looking to actively root against the Swami Beloveds on Monday night. Do you not know of the Swami wrath? Do you not know of the Swami Hex? 

The Reaper is grinning, his scythe sharpened, as he awaits yonder Tuesday morning, and the Swami waits to Taunt those who Saintly fell.

You still have time to change your pick. If you do not, and death awaits, do not say I did not warn you.

For the rest---those wiser, more compassionate, more amiable---I will direct my below comments to you.

Hello! I hope all is well with you, my friends, friends of years, friends of tears! I wish you all the best this week, Week the Fourth, and while normally I enjoy chaos and the creation of havoc, in this instance I am hoping your every pick comes through, your every hope and dream comes true. As for Swami, the choice proved difficult, but as the Chief myself of this pool, the answer came soon and swift enough.

Oh, and one more thing: as Tarantino Leo was apt to say, I am always looking for a good bit of fun, and so I will grant one free entry ($40 value) to the participant he or she who texts me the hometown birthplace of the first Dolphin to score a touchdown on Monday Night.

Jobu will be watching. The Swami hex be on those who ride the heavens.

That is all.

Tuesday Taunt IV

Weekend Statistics

135 participants
17 undefeateds
56 with one loss
62 deceased
5 week four losers

Perhaps you think it's time to get comfortable. Have a seat on the couch, put the feet up, grab a cold one, slip a hand in. Perhaps, by virtue of one successful week of football.

Sadly, you are mistaken.

Like Phil and the Jam of Pearl, I can feel it coming, and the Swami is never wrong. Week Five was an E.L.E. in 2011. What will the coming weekend bring?

Someone call Morgan Freeman. I'm headed for the caves.

That is all.