Friday Taunt XIII

The cream has really risen to the top, as they say. Thirteen is unlucky in many cultures and hotels across the world, but for our purposes Marino Week treated all participants quite kindly - the Reaper sat this one out and everyone moves merrily into Week 14.

Weekly Statistics
159 participants
2 undefeated
18 with one loss
139 deceased
0 week 13 losers

The Beloveds won, the Titans won, the Jaguars won, and the Chargers won. That's an amazing assortment of winner to move the masses along.

With four weeks left in the Regular Season and twenty remaining, it seems highly likely we will reach the playoffs yet again. Methinks, however, that we will lose some people this week - 'tis a tough one.

That is all.

Friday Taunt VII

Phew.

At last a week with limited chaos, at last a brief respite from the craziness of this NFL season. In fact most damage this week was done by participant neglect - not getting picks in properly. The default pick system worked to no one's favor.

Week Seven Stats

159 participants

8 undefeated, including two Swami Clan members

46 with one loss

105 deceased

For those remaining, not a bad idea at this point to review your picks on the spreadsheet, for two reasons: (1) make sure what you sent me matches up with what is on the sheet, and (2) to remember correctly what picks you have made.

Reminder also that Week Nine is the last week of our playoff rules repick, not that this ridiculous season is likely to get to the playoffs. Good times.

That is all.

Friday Taunt IV

schizophrenia ... schiz·o·phre·ni·a [skitsəˈfrēnēə,ˌskitsəˈfrenēə]

noun // origin: from the Greek skhizein (to split) and phrēn (mind)

(1) long-term mental disorder of a type involving a breakdown in the relation between thought, emotion, behavior, characterized by withdrawal from reality into fantasy and delusion, and mental fragmentation.

(2) in general use, a mentality or approach characterized by inconsistent or contradictory elements.

--

It is official, my friends: this season of the National Football League is schizophrenic. There is a saying a very old saying about any given Sunday any team can beat any team in the NFL, and for a good chunk of years that has not really been the true mantra. There have been safe haven teams, dominant squads who you know time and again will power you through to a win against specific types of opponents.

This is why we have rules.

But there is not even safety in rules this season, not when we see the Falcons drop a home game to the Bills, the Cowboys drop a home game to the Rams, and the Patriots have already lost two games in Foxboro and we're only at the quarter mark of the season.

I am reminded of Munch and his iconic image of despair. Yes, the Swami himself sits undefeated, but I have my crystal ball to guide me ... the masses must rely on their own intuition and intelligence, and the NFL season thus far had shredded both reason and logic on its merry way to Week Five.

Week Four Statistics

56 participants undefeated at 4-0, including yours truly

74 participants with one loss at 3-1

63 week four losers

29 deceased with two losses

The Reaper does love despair; I should remind all of you that, historically, Week Five has been a bloodbath. Scream if you must, but scrap and claw and fight your way through to Week Six. When the dust settles we shall see how many of us remain, and how many have passed to the other side of night.

That is all.

Friday Taunt II

Very little action in Week Two, thanks in large part to a pair of West Coast teams: the Raiders and Seahawks accounted for 79% of participant selections ... to great and glorious success. The remaining 21% took their chances on other squads, mostly victoriously.

Week Two Stats

159 participants

118 undefeated

40 with one loss

1 deceased

Sadly, the Back Nine was not kind to Ben's Bengals, Ice went the Rams, Dem Cowboys did not help D-White, Sleepytime the 26th was rendered comatose by the Tiger Stripes, the Giants were not so Rajdandy, and Lushing must have been inebriated to pick against the Beloveds and on the Chargers prior to Week Six, breaking the two most inviolate rules in the process.

Only one participant has fallen ... and we congratulate D-White 03 on claiming the Mr. Irrelevant prize for 2017. The Reaper welcomes you into black-cloaked arms.

That is all.

Friday Taunt XVIII - Wild Card

The Dirty Dozen.

Only twelve remain, the vast majority of them Pool veterans who know how to manage their playoff picks. Still, a few newbies looking to spoil the party. Back Nine Ben elected to roll with the Raiders, but it mattered not given his multiple Lions selections in previous weeks.

Ber and Her declined my generous dollars-for-life offer and still rolls on without defeat. The pressure is mounting and everyone feels it -- one small mistake spells doom. Four still carry the Swami Hex ... Mr. T and I both very much pity those fools, for they have already lost, they just don't know it yet.

That is all.

Friday Taunt XV

Every year, there is a cross check. This is when I go through the pool spreadsheet and double check for any errors, double ups, misprints, etc. I usually wait until there are less than 20 people in the pool, because honestly why worry about it until then, but courtesy of the Colts losing (not winning) in Week 14 and the efforts of Mr. Midnight Moons, and the fact that we still have 30+ people alive with only two weeks to go (which might be a record), the cross check has happened.

Some participants got blasted up against the boards.

Which is why, despite no losses in Week 15, we find a few of our fellow departed to bring our number down to 34. 34 brave souls remain. It would've been more had the Jags not choked away their almost-win, but such is the way of the pool this year. Too many near misses to count.

Weekend Statistics
202 participants
11 undefeated
23 with one loss, including Swami
168 deceased

The noose tightens. Onward we go.

That is all.

Friday Taunt XIII

Marino Week always treats the Swami well. Others, not so much. The Reaper returned from his (her?) vacation in Week 12 to wreak havoc once more upon the masses, lulling you all into Saintly submission and watching your agonizing cries of defeat as an organic Berry rolled downfield for an extra pair of points.

All in all, we had 33 Week 13 losers on six different teams.

The noose tightens and the cream will rise to the top. There are only four weeks left in the regular season and I think it is safe to say we will return to the playoffs this season, so plan your picks and make your choices accordingly.

Week 14 Statistics
202 participants
12 undefeated at 13-0
28 with one loss at 12-1
162 deceased

PS - This is literally the greatest photo I have ever posted. This is not one of my recurring photos forever. The Hex still grips a few undefeateds; I would be very afraid.

That is all.

Friday Taunt X

"X" most definitely did not mark the spot for the Swami this past week, who fell from the ranks of the unbeaten along with Wick and Chick. Not many losses to couple with these two, but the rest who did (six in all) fell not from the unbeaten, but from the tree itself for the final time.

The noose is beginning to tighten and the ancient knight's words come back to me.

"Choose wisely."

Weekend Statistics
202 participants
19 undefeated
47 with one loss
136 deceased

That is all.

Friday Taunt VII

Twenty four people stepped up to the board with Bart by their side, stinging from the loss, to write "I WILL NOT DO THE DIRTY BIRD" in powder white.

It is a season of slow bleed. There has not been any crushing week of loss, but each week has seen a consistent level of chaos -- which keeps the Reaper busy, but does not satisfy. By comparison, there are almost 50 more participants still alive this season than were at the same point last season.

At this rate, we are on pace to make it to the end of the regular season, which means the playoff rules -- rapidly approaching after Week Nine -- will be important once again.

Weekend Stats
202 participants
115 still alive
40 undefeated
75 with one loss
87 deceased

Onward we roll to Week Eight with many teams on the bye. Good luck to all those who still breathe, may your Monday morning breath be your finest yet.

That is all.

Friday Taunt VI

Got a package, people. My sincerest condolences to all those who elected to look to Steel a victory this past weekend, Week the Sixth, and came up disappointingly empty. Let it not be said that there were not warnings, let it not be said that we tried not to dissuade you.

The herd is beginning to thin. We lost 27 more for the second and final time with 20 more taking their first loss -- for those counting, almost one third of the pool took it on the chin thanks to the Packers, Broncos, Raiders, Eagles, and, of course, the Steelers. We bid adieu to those who have departed.

We have three weeks left (Seven, Eight, Nine) before the playoff rules kick in; I highly recommend you know what these are. Likewise, it is recommended that you review the spreadsheet to confirm your picks have been recorded correctly each and every week.

Weekly Statistics
202 participants
130 still alive
51 undefeated at 6-0
79 with one loss at 5-1
47 week six losers
27 departed for good
72 deceased

We enter Week Seven, some with exceptional confidence, some with wavering mindsets, some still in a full-scale panic. Ah, the gloriousness that is the Swami Pool. Long may it reign.

That is all.

Friday Taunt VIII

And so it was that 65 remained.

After a pair of weeks with some casualties but not massive destruction, only five brave souls remain unbeaten to lead a pack that counts 60 others. We enter Week Nine, which means for those who know the rules that this is the last week you can pick a team -- and be able to reuse them in the playoffs.

Week 08 Stats
189 participants
134 deceased
5 undefeated at 8-0
60 with one loss
65 terrified week in
65 petrified week out

The availability of teams that have shown a consistent ability to win is, at this point, likely quite exhausted. Good luck to those who must begin choosing 3-4 teams to succeed. We just want to say good luck, we're all counting on you.

Onward we merrily roll.

That is all.

Friday Taunt VI

Bless the Beloveds, they have returned. I will dedicate this first paragraph to renewed hope in the strong Tight End hands of Dan Campbell. Color me impressed. Color me hopeful that there may yet be time to salvage what was once thought to be salvageable, and for a time now the Beloveds are in the exciting position of being intriguing.

Much like this year's pool, in which intrigues abound. More losses at the hands of the birds; Hitchcock would be so proud. We roll into Lady Luck's week with 81 surviving souls and only seven undefeateds.

Week Six Statistics
189 participants
7 players at 6-0
74 with one loss

17 week six losers

108 deceased

Onward we merrily roll. With most of the pool having used the Packers and Patriots at this point, good luck to us all. The Beloveds are open for business.

That is all.

Friday Taunt X

Was it as good for you as it was for me?

In truth, there are so many avenues to take in commentating upon the massive, glorious destruction of Week 10, I am having a hard time knowing where to begin.

First, for those of you who have emailed me with pithy comments of your own, asking for major upsets to get this pool rolling . . . well, you got it.

The Reaper has been sitting on the sidelines all season, licking his wounds and licking his chops, and "X" certainly marked the spot: 86% of the pool lost this past weekend. It shall be noted in the record books as the single worst week in the history of the Suicide Pool, from a sheer percentage perspective. The Reaper, let's just say, is fat and happy and sidelined no longer. Other numbers of note: 80 participants took a loss, 70 were on the Titans, 54 were eliminated entirely, and 26 took their first loss.

Week 10 Stats
160 participants
121 deceased
80 week 10 losers
35 with one loss
4 undefeated

Which brings us to our second point this morning: the Mount Rushmore of 2013. There are only four undefeateds remaining, three Suicide veterans and a rookie. Ladies and gentlemen, say hello to Hollandia, Father Franz, The Lebanator, and the Holy Light, your four remaining undefeateds. There are 35 one-lossers joining them, which puts us at 39 total. Congrats to those who survived the brutality of Week 10.

Lastly, and most importantly, I refer back to the first line of this post. It was one of the most glorious weeks in general for yours truly, the Swami, given how much I enjoy chaos, but compounded by the thrill of victory whilst flying in the face of logic and reason. Special shout out to Ford Model P, who also flew close to the sun and did not get burned. The Jaguars are our new favorite team.

Good luck participants as we enter the home stretch. The noose tightens and the cream rises, and when the dust settles, will you be the one left standing?

That is all.

Friday Taunt IX

Finally, some action.

By virtue of Saints and Packers and Raiders and Chargers, twenty participants took losses in Week Nine, the most in some time. Fifteen of these were second losses, which means we bid adieu to fifteen of our fellows.

Which means 67 have dearly departed.

We are well behind our normal pace for this time of year. In 2012, there were a scant 42 left alive at this time. In 2011, 53 were still standing. In 2010, 57 survived to double digits.

Weekend Stats
160 participants
30 undefeated at 9-0
63 with one loss at 8-1
67 deceased
20 week eight losers

But now the gloves come off as we enter Week Ten. Henceforth, every team is burned and cannot be used again. The Jaguars will get their one win, and many of you will go down when it happens. The Reaper is waiting.

That is all.