The Root of the Week V

When the going got tough, the tough got big cats to help protect from the Reaper's dangerous blade. To those who say two cats ain't better than one, or two cats in the hand are worth one scythe in the bush, or two cats out of three ain't bad, I say . . .

Two cats plus two wins equals safety through Week Five.

Much of the field has already found itself on safer shores, riding the red-hot Patriots and their 500 TD man to success on Thursday night, while the rest of us must toil and trouble on this particular given Sunday.

Panthers for the Swami Clan, if you please.

That is all.

Friday Taunt V

The Reaper has landed. The Curse of Week Five strikes again. Like the ninth episode in a season of Game of Thrones, the Swami Pool has seen incredible consistency in the death and devastation that rains down upon participants in each year's fifth week.

Last season was the only season since 2010 that has not brought widespread loss in Week Five; 2017 shows us the exception proves the rule as we are right back to it.

The Steelers were the primary culprits -- Big Ben's ticking clock expired, taking 47 souls right along with him. Throw the Raiders, Cowboys, Lions, Giants, Texans, and Bears (oh my) in there and you have a waterloo ... er, watershed week.

Week Five Stats

159 participants

24 undefeated at 5-0, including yours truly

74 with one loss at 4-1

64 week five losers

61 deceased

This season is absolutely ridiculous. Two weeks with two "lock picks", essential coin flips for who to choose, and both weeks one side of the coin lost their game: Falcons last week, Steelers this week. The Steelers, as it happens, are responsible for more losses thus far this season than any other team.

Lucky for the Swami, both coin flips happened to work out just fine. Hence why I reside in the Land of 24, crystal ball in tow. Here's hoping I remain there along with my 23 fellows into the long future.

Onward to Week Six.

That is all.

The Root of the Week V

Much has been made in this space in recent weeks regarding the Swami's Rules for Survival. It is well known that to veer off course, to subject yourself to the chaos and devastation that inevitably follows when rules are not adhered to, is a poor way to spend a Sunday.

We will now swing the pendulum back the other direction, however, to analyze just when exactly the rules should be broken -- under what circumstances and what scenarios would the old saying "the exception proves the rule" be just that, the proper time and place for an exception. A timely question, indeed, given I myself will break a rule this week and take a road team to win.

First, the Unbreakable Rule -- there is no exception to picking against the Beloveds. You get the Hex, pure and simple. The next update will, in fact, have notations for all those entries who remain hexed, to help prove the point.

Second, the Chargers Rule -- I personally cannot remember if I have ever gone against this rule, the Chargers scare me mightily and have left so much devastation in their wake over the first third of seasons' past that it is impossible for me to put any sort of myself on them. Remember the Schottenheimer era, when the team would invariably sort 0-3 before winning 13 straight games then losing in the first round of playoffs pretty much every year? Devastation in their wake. Picking the Chargers is like a Hunger Games cornucopia: it looks so tempting, so enticing, until you get there. May the odds be ever in your favor.

Third, the multi-pick rule -- just good business. Why put every egg in the same basket. You can if you want to, there are exceptions here, but this is our "good strategy" rule, not specific to picking teams.

Which leaves the last two: don't pick a team playing within its own division and do not pick a team playing on the road. I'll be honest, it is near impossible to go an entire season without breaking one of these rules. You have to pick your spots, however.

Personally, I am very much against divisional match-ups; the teams know each other better than other teams in the league and divisional games are usually tough. Still, there are times where it might be beneficial, and exceptions can be made.

Occasionally it is acceptable to consider the idea of picking a team playing on the road, if certain other factoids speak in favor of the decision. Case in point: the Swami pick for this week is the New England Patriots to beat the Cleveland Browns. Cleveland has not looked awful in recent weeks, better than expected, and they are at home, so common logic and normal rule procedure would seem to preclude the notion of taking New England.

But ... Tom Brady is back. Tom Brady is pissed off. The Patriots got shut out at home last week. The Patriots are pissed off. Belichick rarely loses two games in a row. Belichick is pissed off. Pissed off Patriots tend to lead to big wins.

Hence, an exception can be made. Hence, the Swami rolls with the Patriots, as does the Factor and Darth Bennett. Mama Bear, having broken the rules one week too early, will look for Big Ben to chime out the victory call in Steeltown, USA.

A Double Update awaits you all on Tuesday. Best of luck on a safe trip through to Week Six.

That is all.

Friday Taunt V of the Root of the Week VI

We dangle precariously and each week, it seems, brings more of the same. More devastation, more chaos. Week Three was but a blip, an aberration. Forty-five more of our finest lay down this past weekend -- and this is a later Taunt than normal, apologies apologies, as I am traveling at the moment and coming to you live from the great state of Wisconsin.

For those of you in Los Angeles, this is actually being posted tomorrow. Time changes, and all that. But I digress.

We are hanging from the small branch, ready to break at any moment. Only eight of us remain unscathed, eight majestic souls -- including the above-referenced Darth Bennett. The Spawn has fallen from the unbeaten ranks, but lives to play another day.

Once more the masses move in different directions. Week the Sixth is, in the words of Ze German, who knows his brutality, a "brutal brutal week."

And so let us remember David of the 23rd Psalm, he who walked through a shadowed valley without fear, as we walk once more toward the weekend, and the reckoning it is likely to bring. Regardless the outcome, we are strong together. We will not fear.

That is all.

PS - Or is it. Given my travels, and knowing no one knows when the arrival will actually occur on the morrow, I will put forth in this space the Spawn and Darth picks for the Sixth Week ... which are the same pick, and the best pick available this brutal week. Let it be known now how the 12th Man and his birds of the sea will rise up to slay the mighty undefeated (really?) Bagheera's of Carolina.

So it is written, so it shall be done.

The Root of the Week V

The Swami is dead, long live the Swami . . . and yet for the second consecutive year the heirs of the Swami survive long past their patriarch --- and so it is that Darth Bennett and the Spawn take up the family mantle and seek to extend their run of undefeatedness into the Sixth Week.

The Root will henceforth feature only their picks as Swami himself has no picks to give, plus as usual the picks of the masses. It seems this week is a heavy trifecta and a hodgepodge of other smaller selections. The Packers, Falcons, and Chiefs are the heavy plays, with the Patriots, Giants, Ravens, and Bengals following behind.

As for the heirs, they like a pair of favorites as well. Darth Bennett will ride the Arrow as it seeks to slay the Bear, while the Spawn will hope the Dirty Birds devour the Politically Incorrect Native American Tribesmen.

Good luck in this Week Five, which has been an ugly week in previous seasons. Here's hoping the Reaper sleeps until the evening.

That is all.

Thursday Taunt V

Meow.

The sound emanating from Ford Field on Sunday last: meow. 'Twas the Cubs that were responsible for 16 losses in Week Five -- all losses but one, and that was a default pick/panic.

Week Five has been a tough week for the majority of participants in years past, but the majority emerged unscathed in 2014, riding the Packers, Saints, Eagles, Seahawks, Steelers, and a smattering of others to success and survival. Still the losses are piling up as the numbers hit approximated thirds: one third undefeated, one third with one loss, one third out.

Weekly Statistics
58 at 5-0
67 with one loss
67 deceased
17 losers in Week Five
10 scythed for good in Week Five

Onward we merrily go into Week the Sixth. For those still undefeated, the sound you hear is the sweet sound of success, like harpers from heaven tugging the heartstrings of joy. For those with one loss, the sound you hear is the scrrch of the noose tightening around your neck, or perhaps the sllllfftt of the reaper sharpening his scythe. For those deceased, the sound you hear is . . . 

That is all.

The Root of the Week V

In considering the dangers of this slate of Week Five games, two thoughts spring to mind: a remembrance and a realization. One remembers, first, that Week Five has a history of Suicide Pool devastation; some of the worst overall participant losses have occurred in the fifth week of the season. On the heels of that horrifying thought comes a second, and no less horrifying, a stark and brutal realization: a rule must be broken in Week Five.

Some elected to break early, as if Rules don't pertain to Thursdays, in taking the Packers against their division rival. Those brave souls survived their rule-breaking and have already earned admittance into Week Six.

Most others have taken the Saints, they of the confidence-inspiring 1-3 record, against their own division rival, the Bucs of Tampa Bay -- who finally have a little momentum and a quarterback who can throw the ball semi-well. To you I just want to say, good luck, we're all counting on you.

Still more have tried to adhere to the Rules, and thus placed their faith in the Broncos (against an undefeated Arizona team) or Eagles (against the hapless Rams, and the best pick although most have already utilized this team) or Lions (against the Buff Bills, who have at times been Mr. Universe size and at times been like a frosh/soph wrestler).

The Swami has taken his time this morning, not rushing to post the Root at 2am as in previous weeks, because the Swami has no need for rushing on this fine Sunday. I will be breaking a rule, yes, and there are some times when rules must be broken -- this is one of those times. My survival will travel cross country with the Hawks of Seattle, where the Politically Incorrectskins of Washington await. The former is better, the latter in turmoil . . . but this is Week Five and so no pick is safe.

Mine is just safer than most.

That is all.

Thursday Taunt V

You knew he was coming. You could sense it in the air last week, you could feel it in your very bones. He's been waiting, waiting, waiting . . . 

And in "V", he struck.

Twenty-five souls perished in their entirety this past week, Week the Fifth. It's interesting, the history of Week Five in Suicide lore. Relatively tame last year, in previous seasons prior it has long been associated with the end of days for many, many participants. Massive upsets, mangled dreams, etc.

'Twas again in 2013. The Dirty Birds were so very dirty.

Week Five Stats
42 undefeated at 5-0
76 with one loss at 4-1
64 losers in Week Five
42 utterly deceased
25 following the Reaper

As far as you know, the Update delay is simply because I did not want to rub salt in the wound, allowing some time to pass, allowing some healing. There was much grief and much devastation in Week Five, and while Swami himself was victim, chaos always tickles my fancy.

And fanciful I was in Week Five.

That is all.

The Root of the Week V

Yes, I will.

'Tis a simple choice this week . . . the Dirty Birds will clean up nicely. At home on Monday night, their season on the line and its just early October, with fatty contracts up the wazoo and Matty Ice under center. Three losses to teams a combined 11-1, all close. Yes, the Falcons will lift the Swami to great heights, and settle us down in Week Six.

Still, I cannot help but wonder at the gall and gumption of our pool participants. The majority of the rest of the masses have put their money on Saint Louis (really?!) or Green Bay. Yes, yes, yes, I get it. Saint Louis is playing Jacksonville. And yes, Green Bay is very good. But the Jags are winless, which always makes them dangerous, and Detroit is a divisional foe (breaking a Swami Rule). I sense a little chaos and devastation this weekend, just not as a result of a career Geno Smith day.

That is all.

Tuesday Taunt V

Weekend Statistics
61 participants
14 undefeateds
47 with one loss
14 week five losers

Oh, what a woeful group the losers are this week. Some fourteen in all, the general sentiment is that those who perished need not have perished, and deserve their defeat.

Why, you ask? Of what sin and woe doth the Swami speak?

Packers, Chargers, Bengals. Do not pick teams on the road. Do not pick the Chargers before Week Six. Do not pick against my Beloveds.

All of this is known, and yet . . . and yet . . . fourteen of you tempted fate. Fourteen souls got lost in the dark, not knowing or not caring to know, not following the Suicide law, and as such, fourteen souls perished. A sad day, but no one will ask why.

Which leaves us with 61 participants still standing, less than one-half the field only five weeks in, with lots more football to play. Perhaps playoff strategy begins to melt as week-to-week survival moves to the fore.

That is all.