The Root of the Week II

Enter week two, which sees many veteran Swami Pool participants throwing caution to the wind and breaking rules left and right. For the newbies, we will review the Swami Rules for Survival in the text of this week's Taunt -- Swami has a brunch to run to.

The Swami Clan has its usual group working the Pool this season: Swami himself, The Factor, Darth Bennett, Avery of Avalor, and Spawn of Swami.

The first three will look for lightning to strike ever-so-sweetly on the road to singe the slew of Buffalo-based Ta-Tonka. The younger ladies of the latter two will sing with the heavens and hope the fallen bounce back from the previous weekend, and rise again to put the Browns back in their usual column.

Best of luck to those who already feel the shadow of the Reaper.

That is all.

The Root of the Week IX

The prognostication is underway. The action has bounced around with several participants on the Vikings, Saints, Jaguars, Rams, and Eagles. After a "no-loss" Week Eight, we've got to get something successful out of this season.

The Swami has looked into his crystal and discovered all. The Swami and Spawn look to roll with the Chiefs, while the Factor and Darth are on board for the breeziest Brees in New Orleans.

That is all.

The Root of the Week VIII

Rohan Bendre would be so proud.

A week of peace and calm followed three tumultuous weeks of chaos and strife; we are still sitting in single digit weeks and yet a full two-thirds of participants have already met the Reaper a second time, and the second time means likewise you meet your Maker.

We still have Week Eight and Week Nine to pick teams that are re-usable in the NFL playoffs - not that any pool veteran actually thinks we will get there at this rate. 2017 has all the makings of an exciting regular season finish.

But who to choose in Week Eight? 

Not even the Swami Clan is immune to pick error - the Lady of Avalor was too prone to Texans and has been eliminated upon spreadsheet review, leaving but four remaining. We shall divide our efforts this week to conquer the Reaper for a Saintly Tiger combination.

The Swami and the Spawn will ride the Brees this week and sing with the heavenly angels and Saints. Darth Bennett and the Factor will stalk and stripe their way into next week on the backs of the Bengal Tigers. Two by two, and that's how we roll in cover formation.

That is all.

The Root of the Week XII

I once spent ten straight days and nights in a hotel five feet (literally) from Bourbon Street. There is little more about it to say in this space than this ... I survived.

I once spent ten weeks undefeated, but there was the one little thing with the Jets, but still ... I survived.

When we meet again in this space next week, and we discuss the weekend's shenanigans, and I mention how I once spent a weekend in the company of Saints, you can be sure the real root of the conversation will be this ... I survived.

That is all.

The Root of the Week IX

We enter the Ninth Week.

The Ninth Week is a big week in the Suicide Pool, not your average everyday run of the mill Week the Seventh or Week the Eighth. Like the legion itself, the Ninth has significant gravitas and meaning, significant weight.

First, it must be mentioned that this is the final week to select teams that can be reused in the playoffs, should we get there. What was once (post the Week That Shall Not Be Named) a far-afield dream now inches closer to reality, and so the playoffs look to rear their head again.

Second, given that not many will select playoff possible teams henceforth this regular season, we once again enter the chaos that is the early double-digit weeks ... Weeks 10-13 have historically been the Reaper's stomping grounds. He has been active early this year, so perhaps he is fat and lazy at this point and will not get up off the couch, and the survival rate will be higher. Perhaps.

Many have already ensured their advancement via the Stripes on Thursday night, but the number is not as high as would be expected. Darth Bennett has not yet found success this week, and like many others who whisper words of hope on the winds, the young sith lord pins his hopes on the resurgent Brees in the Superdome. Others seem to favor the Jets, Panthers, Broncos, Falcons, and Patriots. Heavy hitters all, except the lowercase jets.

Let us hope none of us end up like the Legio Hispana.

That is all.

There Is No Taunt On This Sad, Sad Week II

"They stood resolved, and ready at the bell,
and candles light the places where they fell."

I know not where this day finds you. I know not from where you read this, not your circumstance nor your situation, nor whether your mood runs to merriment or melancholy, or some measure between.

I know not, and there is, truth be told, little knowledge to be had on this cold, cruel evening in the middle of the week. It is three days since the devastation of Sunday, just two since the cruel Reaper continued his rampage on Monday night. We are all still feeling it, all still carrying the burdens of what was, is, and will forever be . . .

. . . the single worst week in the history of the Swami Suicide Pool.

I do not think it will be possible to ever top such a week. I think we could take 200 brave souls, have them make picks independently for one thousand weeks straight, and still never come close to touching the sheer and utter carnage rained down upon us this week. Week Two of 2015 shall henceforth be known, like Voldemort, as the "Week That Shall Not Be Named."

Before the actual statistics and before I add some additional commentary, it is pertinent to discuss October of 2011, Week V. It is a flashback not many will want to flashback. Here is what was said then:

"It was carnage, utter and absolute; the single bloodiest weekend in the history of Suicide. 83 participants rode the Giants to their untimely demise, 92 took losses in total, and 37 perished for the second and final time. 102 remain alive, 78 with one loss. For those keeping track at home, a full two-thirds (66%) lost in Week Five. After five weeks in, only 16% remain undefeated. No one with multiple entries remains unscathed. The theme of the season is destruction, devastation, chaos."

This past weekend makes Week V of 2011 look like a few fine young people taking a pleasure cruise. Week II of 2015 is a few fine young people out for a pleasure cruise at night through eel-infested waters -- and everyone knows the shrieking eels are loudest right before they strike.

That sound you heard on Sunday? Well, they struck. Observe:

# - Two weeks into this short, deadly season, only 14 participants remain undefeated -- only fourteen!!?! 

# - The losses piled up in record numbers: 76 were denied heaven's pearly gates via the Saints; 37 thought they had avoided the bloodshed and rode their Colts into the ground on Monday; 26 liked the trendy Ravens pick, but quoted Poe, 'Nevermore.'; 25 wanted protection and took the Beloveds in honor of Swami, including the Swami himself, only to fall, sadly, along with all the rest; and the Rams, Eagles, and Titans all added multiple participants to their backing parties ... only to disappoint them with ridiculous losses.

For those counting at home, that is 174 losses suffered in total by the participants this week. 174??? WTF??? The single bloodiest, most devastating week in history. Our own personal Antietam. The number you are looking for is 88% ... 88% lost their lives. I have no words. 'Tis rare, yes, but I have no words to describe the scene. 

Some small measure can be found in this one last thought --- save for a few random undefeated survivors, the whole rest of the pool is in the same boat. So many bit the dust, the playing field is very nearly level.

And so onward we merrily roll in Suicide 2015.

That is all.                         

The Root of the Week XVII

Which way to go, which way to go? The participants have separated on this excellent Week 17.

No frills, no preamble. The Spawn places her faith in the heavens and rides the Saints. A quartet on the Texans. One flying with the Falcons. One mans a Viking vessel. One pick still to come in as of this posting.

On our eight-pack merrily rolls.

That is all.

The Root of the Week X

In honor of Poe and his Raven, whose flock is being asked to shepherd a great mass of participants safely into Week Eleven, musings from the man himself.

"Men have called me mad; but the question is not yet settled, whether madness is or is not the loftiest intelligence -- whether much that is glorious -- whether all that is profound -- does not spring from disease of thought -- from moods of mind exalted at the expense of the general intellect.

There are two bodies -- the rudimental and the complete -- corresponding with the two conditions of the worm and the butterfly. What we call "death," is but the painful metamorphosis. Our present incarnation is progressive, preparatory, temporary. Our future is perfected, ultimate, immortal. The ultimate life is the full design.

They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.

It is more than probable that I am not understood; but I fear, indeed, that it is in no manner possible to convey to the mind of the merely general reader, an adequate idea of that nervous intensity of interest with which, in my case, the powers of meditation (not to speak technically) busied and buried themselves, in the contemplation of even the most ordinary objects of the universe.

It will be found, in fact, that the ingenious are always fanciful, and the truly imaginative never otherwise than analytic."

Poe speaks truly, like the Swami was seated before him asking for a personally evaluative oratory. Swami speaks truly, as well, and expects scores of participants to look for the Ravens to come knocking on victory's door this weekend. However, and despite the obviousness of the Ravens pick, there will be no Ravensing for the Swami and his clan.

I feel the holy light of heaven's army upon me, and whilst they have struggled mightily, so too hast their opponent, and the old adage holds as true today as it did years ago: "why root for one Harbrother when there is another to root against?"

And so the Swami will lay down with the Saints, and hope for divine inspiration at home in the bayou, whilst the boy and girl tab the road-weary Falcons and Steelers for their selections, as we all look to roll effortlessly along.

That is all.

The Root of the Week IX

You cannot win your own pool. This is one of the laws of higher pool operation, number twelve I think. Law #12 - You cannot win your own pool.

I run a Suicide Pool and a March Madness Pool, and it's been years since I've won either outright. Several years ago I did win March Madness, and pool participation dropped by 25%. People like fine commentary, witty dialogue, the occasional political or social reference, and excellent competition. They don't like winners.

I used to run a Bowl Pool, too, but every year I was in the top five, and the pressure proved too intense. It's difficult rooting for yourself to lose. So I gave up on the Bowl Pool, and now just enter the one run by the Hooded Fiend. Side note: it's excellent by the way, let me know if you want details.

In any event, you cannot win your own pool. But at the same time, I cannot lose intentionally. So roundabout Week Nine, roundabout now, Swami starts taking some chances with his picks. For those who don't know, the Swami accounts for three: Swami Me (the Swami), Swami Spawn (the Swami's kids), and the Factor (the Swami's woman). Heretofore, we have all ridden lock step, faltering in just one week. 

Most participant money is on the Cowboys this week, with the Patriots and Packers following behind, plus a smattering of Saints and Seahawks for those who have them left. There are also a select handful on the Panthers, which leads us to the photo.

Newton tastes good.

Clan Swami will split for the first time this season, and we are breaking rules all over the place. Mark me down for the Panthers, the Factor for Saint Diego, and the Spawn for the Saints. It is highly unlikely we all survive. Law #12, you know.

That is all.

The Root of the Week III

Back in the saddle for the 70 strong who succumbed in Week Two, save for the 6 poor souls who perished entirely.

The heavy action flows two ways this week. Yes, we have a few moving to their own beat, perhaps on the Bears or the Boys or Steel City, but the majority has spoken, and the masses are moving forward with god and with gold.

The 49ers are road-bound, and while playing an inferior team from lake country, the NFL road is fraught with peril. Therefore, there will be no flowers in my hair this week.

Which leaves the holy option, and like Joliet Jake, I have seen the light.

That is all.

The Root of the Week IV

Down by Green Bay,
where the cheeseheads grow,
where Pabst Blue flows,
you all will go,
and if you do,
your Swami will say,
"Did you ever see a horse
trample Aaron Rodgers
down by Green Bay?"




Down by Tampa Bay,
where the old folks roam,
where the Rays call home,
you all will go,
and if you do,
your Swami will say,
"Did you ever see a stallion
stomp on a pirate
down by Tampa Bay?"

Down by the bayou,
where the bourbon flows,
where the Mardis grow,
the Swami goes,
and since I do,
the heavens will say,
"Let us all watch a Brees
throwing TD's
down by the bayou."

That is all.

The Unholy Playoff Devastation

The devastation wrought by the Saints is nearly complete; eight of the nine remaining participants were riding the holiest franchise, the defending champs, the righteous ones, as the team itself rode into Seattle on a wave of public approval, expecting to dominate the lowly 7-9 division-winning Seahawks.

Together, they all rode right into their 2010 graves.

Only three remain, the two undefeated Lew teams and Back Nine Ben, who now has a significant amount of the good green heaped on the Ravens tomorrow, who were his pick. If they fail, we go into sudden death between the youngest and eldest of Clan Lew.

The end is near.

That is all.

The Root of the Week IV

"Look, kids, Big Ben, House of Parliament."

Week Four has the Suicide Pool spinning, it seems, with multiple teams being tabbed for Sunday glory. After a slow and silent third outing, our fourth looks to be quite the mayhem-maker.

The Saints, Packers, and Chargers (really?) seem to be the squads most favored by our participants, although there are quite a few nods to the Falcons, Colts, and Jets, and even a handful of Texans, Bengals, and who knows who else. Will all these teams earn the elusive NFL "W"? I think not, and I think it glorious.

For those keeping track of our weekly Root, in which space the Swami has posted his pick each week with various forms of word-smithery, I shall be clear with my selection this week, for those who appreciate not exceptional prose and poetry.

There is a Brees stirring the Swami this week. Saints by 17.

That is all.