And the Winner Is . . .

My friends, my dear friends, our work here is done. We can officially close the 2015 Swami Suicide Pool with the crowning of our winner, the first winner crowned before Week 14 in the history of the pool. So stand up and take a bow . . .

Wishful Thinking, your 2015 Champion!

There were six remaining participants headed into last week. Five poor souls selected the Bears and Wishful Thinking -- a long-time Suicide Pool veteran whose previous high finish was a 21 person tie for 7th in 2013, and who actually finished tied for last in 2014 with an uno dos adios showing -- took the Chiefs to eek out the victory in this most traumatic of seasons.

Special kudos to Her-Turn, Papa Lew, 52 Shades of Clay, Shapeshifter, and Easy Breesy Beautiful for their five-way tie for second place.

Our Champion stands alone atop  the heap. We congratulate Wishful Thinking on his excellence this season, a season unlike any other. Thank you all for your participation in this most glorious of football adventures.  We will see you back here next fall!

That is all.

Thursday Taunt XII

It seems we are down to our final six. Our little six-pack, as it were.

A simple posting as we enter the Week of Marino with only six souls; the Reaper called to apologize for his swift work this season, and promises more success for all participants in 2016.

That is all.

The Giving of Thanks Taunt XI

On this evening before we all settle in for the Giving of Thanks, when all tables are set for the feast and a cornucopia of riches surrounds, reflective thoughts bring to mind another cornucopia that is an apt metaphor for this most destructive of Swami Pool seasons.

Of course, I refer to the Hunger Games cornucopia, where all participants gather . . . and most never leave alive. So it has seemed this season, as we all flock to safe harbors only to find no safety nor security whatsoever. 

We are down to nine, nine brave souls who are the only participants left to give football thanks on Thursday's holiday. Like Katniss, they braved the cornucopia and left alive, if moderately scathed, and remain in the woods to fight another week. Nine, and nine only.

Three veterans dropped in Week 11, all three former medal-winners. A few veterans remain, along with some new blood, and we shall see whose blood stays within, and whose shall spill in the Week Before Marino Week.

Week 11 Stats
189 participants
9 with one loss
180 deceased
3 week 11 losers

Happy Thanksgiving to all participants, living and deceased, and may the weekend's non-football bring you much joy and merriment.

That is all.

Friday Taunt X

In considering all the different ways to go about this Friday Taunt, which is truly a celebration of carnage on massive scale, both mind and crystal ball kept coming back repeatedly to the same general thought: who dares pick against the Beloveds.

Who, indeed? Previous undefeated KayTay, as well as the following now deceased ne'er-do-wells: Nuttman, daShrink, three Big Nasties, CoastieCouple, True Fact, Mission Impossible, Monkey2, and Chupacabra. There are some serious Swami Pool veterans in that bunch ... knowst thou nothing?

The Swami Hex returned in vicious force in Week Ten - Jobu was out for blood. The angry little Haitian man was so angry, in fact, he pulled 20 other poor souls down with the Eagle-riding, Beloved-failing twelve. It was a Dirty Dozen that caused the wrath of Swami and his Jobu friend . . .

. . . and thus, coincidentally, it is a Dirty Dozen that remains.

Only twelve souls still survive. There are no undefeateds. Apparently the only thing you can do to survive a really bad week of carnage is choose the Steelers, who are the only team to have pulled a significant number out of the ashes of the Week That Shall Not Be Named, and now this ugly Week Ten.

Week 10 Stats
189 participants
0 undefeated
12 with one loss
177 deceased
35 week ten losers

*I will post the picks of the remaining twelve on the blog on Sunday night, then follow with a full update during the week.

We are battered and bruised, but perhaps now we have learned our lesson. No more rooting against the Beloveds. No more chaos and devastation. Only twelve remain. So goes forth the Dozen.


That is all.

Friday Taunt IX

We bid adieu to Darth. There was no redemptive moment, no Emperor over the railing denouement (spoiler?). He has fallen, and for the final time. Is there a Ren in the audience to pick up the mantle? This remains to be seen.

Three undefeateds remain, only three as we hit the double-digit mark. There were 11 last year at this time, 30 the year before, and 10 the year before that. Strangely, despite the massive early devastation, we are clinging relatively close to the average. Not including 2013 -- which saw massive success and still had 93 participants at this point of the season -- there are usually around 50 souls still alive to see Week 10. This year there are 44, but only 3 with no losses (thanks primarily to the Week That Shall Not Be Named).

Week 09 Stats
189 participants
3 undefeated
41 with one loss
24 week nine losers

Reminder: any team selected henceforth is burned for the rest of the year, including playoffs. Any team previously selected cannot be used during the regular season, but may be reused in the playoffs.

And onward we merrily roll into Week 10.

That is all.

The Root of the Week IX

We enter the Ninth Week.

The Ninth Week is a big week in the Suicide Pool, not your average everyday run of the mill Week the Seventh or Week the Eighth. Like the legion itself, the Ninth has significant gravitas and meaning, significant weight.

First, it must be mentioned that this is the final week to select teams that can be reused in the playoffs, should we get there. What was once (post the Week That Shall Not Be Named) a far-afield dream now inches closer to reality, and so the playoffs look to rear their head again.

Second, given that not many will select playoff possible teams henceforth this regular season, we once again enter the chaos that is the early double-digit weeks ... Weeks 10-13 have historically been the Reaper's stomping grounds. He has been active early this year, so perhaps he is fat and lazy at this point and will not get up off the couch, and the survival rate will be higher. Perhaps.

Many have already ensured their advancement via the Stripes on Thursday night, but the number is not as high as would be expected. Darth Bennett has not yet found success this week, and like many others who whisper words of hope on the winds, the young sith lord pins his hopes on the resurgent Brees in the Superdome. Others seem to favor the Jets, Panthers, Broncos, Falcons, and Patriots. Heavy hitters all, except the lowercase jets.

Let us hope none of us end up like the Legio Hispana.

That is all.

Friday Taunt VIII

And so it was that 65 remained.

After a pair of weeks with some casualties but not massive destruction, only five brave souls remain unbeaten to lead a pack that counts 60 others. We enter Week Nine, which means for those who know the rules that this is the last week you can pick a team -- and be able to reuse them in the playoffs.

Week 08 Stats
189 participants
134 deceased
5 undefeated at 8-0
60 with one loss
65 terrified week in
65 petrified week out

The availability of teams that have shown a consistent ability to win is, at this point, likely quite exhausted. Good luck to those who must begin choosing 3-4 teams to succeed. We just want to say good luck, we're all counting on you.

Onward we merrily roll.

That is all.

The Root of the Week VIII

In looking at the emails this morning, it seems there was an issue with the Update Email this week. Apologies, apologies, I will send out an expedited update email this week so you all have information. If you did not receive this past week's email, let me know when you respond to this next one.

A season characterized by people moving in different directions sees another week of darts thrown on the football map. The Falcons, Rams, Cardinals, Texans, Chargers, and Panthers seem like the big plays of the week, with a small smattering of extras thrown in for good measure.

As for Darth Bennett, as he sits down to watch not football, but the latest episode of Rebels, he is feeling very jungle-ish, and seeks to ride the Bagheera wave into Week Nine. The black Panthers for the black Darth, and on we merrily roll.

That is all.

Wednesday Taunt VII

A quick one this week, lots to do in advance of weekend festivities.

The Reaper took a fine week off this week, relaxing on his couch as few participants were slain. A smattering of Bills, Chargers, and Steelers losses, but nothing to write home about. Perhaps the Hooded One is prepping for a Halloween weekend of participant horror --- beware your picks for the Sunday known as All Saints Day.

That is all.

The Root of the Week VII

The masses are moving on this fine Sunday morning ... and they are moving in many different mysterious ways. Various teams on the selection platter? Vikings, Falcons, Patriots, Rams, Cardinals, Colts, Beloveds, Panthers, Chargers, Packers, Steelers, Bills, etc.

Needless to say, there will be some carnage this week. The Reaper remains on standby, as he has all season long.

Only one clan member remains as the Swami brood pins its hopes on the darkside of the force. Darth Bennett will join many other rowdy friends on Monday night and pin his hopes on the Desert Birds of Arizona.

That is all.

Friday Taunt VI

Bless the Beloveds, they have returned. I will dedicate this first paragraph to renewed hope in the strong Tight End hands of Dan Campbell. Color me impressed. Color me hopeful that there may yet be time to salvage what was once thought to be salvageable, and for a time now the Beloveds are in the exciting position of being intriguing.

Much like this year's pool, in which intrigues abound. More losses at the hands of the birds; Hitchcock would be so proud. We roll into Lady Luck's week with 81 surviving souls and only seven undefeateds.

Week Six Statistics
189 participants
7 players at 6-0
74 with one loss

17 week six losers

108 deceased

Onward we merrily roll. With most of the pool having used the Packers and Patriots at this point, good luck to us all. The Beloveds are open for business.

That is all.

Friday Taunt V of the Root of the Week VI

We dangle precariously and each week, it seems, brings more of the same. More devastation, more chaos. Week Three was but a blip, an aberration. Forty-five more of our finest lay down this past weekend -- and this is a later Taunt than normal, apologies apologies, as I am traveling at the moment and coming to you live from the great state of Wisconsin.

For those of you in Los Angeles, this is actually being posted tomorrow. Time changes, and all that. But I digress.

We are hanging from the small branch, ready to break at any moment. Only eight of us remain unscathed, eight majestic souls -- including the above-referenced Darth Bennett. The Spawn has fallen from the unbeaten ranks, but lives to play another day.

Once more the masses move in different directions. Week the Sixth is, in the words of Ze German, who knows his brutality, a "brutal brutal week."

And so let us remember David of the 23rd Psalm, he who walked through a shadowed valley without fear, as we walk once more toward the weekend, and the reckoning it is likely to bring. Regardless the outcome, we are strong together. We will not fear.

That is all.

PS - Or is it. Given my travels, and knowing no one knows when the arrival will actually occur on the morrow, I will put forth in this space the Spawn and Darth picks for the Sixth Week ... which are the same pick, and the best pick available this brutal week. Let it be known now how the 12th Man and his birds of the sea will rise up to slay the mighty undefeated (really?) Bagheera's of Carolina.

So it is written, so it shall be done.

The Root of the Week V

The Swami is dead, long live the Swami . . . and yet for the second consecutive year the heirs of the Swami survive long past their patriarch --- and so it is that Darth Bennett and the Spawn take up the family mantle and seek to extend their run of undefeatedness into the Sixth Week.

The Root will henceforth feature only their picks as Swami himself has no picks to give, plus as usual the picks of the masses. It seems this week is a heavy trifecta and a hodgepodge of other smaller selections. The Packers, Falcons, and Chiefs are the heavy plays, with the Patriots, Giants, Ravens, and Bengals following behind.

As for the heirs, they like a pair of favorites as well. Darth Bennett will ride the Arrow as it seeks to slay the Bear, while the Spawn will hope the Dirty Birds devour the Politically Incorrect Native American Tribesmen.

Good luck in this Week Five, which has been an ugly week in previous seasons. Here's hoping the Reaper sleeps until the evening.

That is all.

Tuesday Taunt IV

He has come for me ... and so I must go. The Swami has fallen, long live the Swami. The birds were shot down mid-flight, taking the Swami and 26 others with them. After the devastation of the Week That Shall Not Be Named, there is no hiding place.

The Reaper hovers over the Pool, unrelenting, unshakable.

Week Four Statistics
189 participants
13 players at 4-0
128 with one loss

27 week three losers

48 deceased

I'm off to the Happiest Place on the morrow for birthday celebrations, and perhaps to salve the wounds of this short season, the shortest season of all in personal Swami history. Fittingly my end came about in Week Four, when the darkness took me.

To quoth the raven, "Nevermore."

That is all.

The Root of the Week IV

And just like that, we are back to bunches of different teams. It seems there is no consensus this week: Cardinals are popular, Colts are popular, Broncos are popular, and many have disregarded the Rules once more and selected the Chargers prior to Week Seven. These, among many others. This, my friends, is a dangerous proposition.

And so there are three choices before the Swami and his immortal clan, three options and none of them look appetizing. Behind Door #01? The Colts, likely Luckless. Behind Door #02? The Broncos at home at Mile High. Behind Door #03? The Cardinals, Infinity-0 when Carson Palmer plays. 

And yet you know how the Swami does not travel once-traveled by ways, the path he chooses is his own, and the true one. And so the Swami and his brood will take not One, not Two, not Three, but indeed all three doors as we root collectively for bird and horse in Week Four: Colts, Broncos, and Cardinals.

That is all.

Thursday Taunt III

Three weeks, three weeks, fourteen more onward. All from the valley of Death rode the hundred six seven. Forward, our participant parade. Arise, Swami said; into the Third Week rode the hundred six seven.

Forward, our participant parade. Was there a man dismayed? Not though we all knew most of us had blundered. Ours not to look behind, ours not to excuses find, ours to resolve our mind; into the Third Week rode the hundred six seven.

Touchdown to the right of them, safety to the left of them, the Reaper right in front of them, to tear us asunder. Battered with scythe and shell, boldly we ride and well, into another week, into prognoses bleak, rode the hundred six seven.

When will our glory fade? Not soon, after such a charge we made. Despite the doubts that lingered under. Honor the charge we made, honor our participant parade, noble hundred six seven.

And so it is and shall be told in the annals of Swami lore, the tale of the one hundred sixty seven brave souls who responded to the devastation of the Week That Shall Not Be Named and return from the edge, from the brink, from the chasm to stand firmly, resolutely, and together, arms linked, for at least another week. Onward we roll as one into Week Four.

So it is written, so it was done.

That is all.

The Root of the Week III

There was much reflection this past week by the participants of the Pool. Much time spent alone in the darkness, thinking, pondering, praying. Devastation and chaos have that impact on people, and the Week That Shall Not Be Named was more destructive and more chaotic than any other. Like, ever.

There are some who have given way to dark urges, threatening retirement henceforth should their chosen team* lose this week. One even mentioned a bell tower. Dark and reaper-like ramblings, indeed.

*It should be noted at this time, before we speak to the photo above, that nearly everyone is riding the Seahawks or Patriots this week. The entire Swami clan, in fact, is on the Patriots: myself, the Factor, the Spawn, and Darth. 

It is widely known my particular affinity for chaos. I do relish it, and admit so freely. However, it should additionally be noted that I only relish it after a certain week. Week Two is not a week I am hoping for heavy loss . . . I like participants to get a nice five-week rhythm or so--and a little confidence--before their hopes and dreams are crushed.

The Swami Hex is also widely known, bestowed upon those who bet against the Beloveds. I have turned the Hex on and nary a hexed individual has made a deep run. 

Well, my friends, I am here on this night (morning, actually) to offer a bit of hope to my fine participants friends. I am flipping the script on my Swami powers, turning them on for the cause of goodness and rightness, and so the Swami Hex until further notice shall be considered the Swami Boon. Those who ride the Seahawks and the Patriots will assuredly reach the promised land of the Fourth Week. I am riding a wedding high on this fine Saturday night, feeling linked to the heavens and the powers therein as only one in my official position might be able, and so.

And so Hope, it seems, is closer than it appears. Good luck to all of you on the morrow.

That is all.

There Is No Taunt On This Sad, Sad Week II

"They stood resolved, and ready at the bell,
and candles light the places where they fell."

I know not where this day finds you. I know not from where you read this, not your circumstance nor your situation, nor whether your mood runs to merriment or melancholy, or some measure between.

I know not, and there is, truth be told, little knowledge to be had on this cold, cruel evening in the middle of the week. It is three days since the devastation of Sunday, just two since the cruel Reaper continued his rampage on Monday night. We are all still feeling it, all still carrying the burdens of what was, is, and will forever be . . .

. . . the single worst week in the history of the Swami Suicide Pool.

I do not think it will be possible to ever top such a week. I think we could take 200 brave souls, have them make picks independently for one thousand weeks straight, and still never come close to touching the sheer and utter carnage rained down upon us this week. Week Two of 2015 shall henceforth be known, like Voldemort, as the "Week That Shall Not Be Named."

Before the actual statistics and before I add some additional commentary, it is pertinent to discuss October of 2011, Week V. It is a flashback not many will want to flashback. Here is what was said then:

"It was carnage, utter and absolute; the single bloodiest weekend in the history of Suicide. 83 participants rode the Giants to their untimely demise, 92 took losses in total, and 37 perished for the second and final time. 102 remain alive, 78 with one loss. For those keeping track at home, a full two-thirds (66%) lost in Week Five. After five weeks in, only 16% remain undefeated. No one with multiple entries remains unscathed. The theme of the season is destruction, devastation, chaos."

This past weekend makes Week V of 2011 look like a few fine young people taking a pleasure cruise. Week II of 2015 is a few fine young people out for a pleasure cruise at night through eel-infested waters -- and everyone knows the shrieking eels are loudest right before they strike.

That sound you heard on Sunday? Well, they struck. Observe:

# - Two weeks into this short, deadly season, only 14 participants remain undefeated -- only fourteen!!?! 

# - The losses piled up in record numbers: 76 were denied heaven's pearly gates via the Saints; 37 thought they had avoided the bloodshed and rode their Colts into the ground on Monday; 26 liked the trendy Ravens pick, but quoted Poe, 'Nevermore.'; 25 wanted protection and took the Beloveds in honor of Swami, including the Swami himself, only to fall, sadly, along with all the rest; and the Rams, Eagles, and Titans all added multiple participants to their backing parties ... only to disappoint them with ridiculous losses.

For those counting at home, that is 174 losses suffered in total by the participants this week. 174??? WTF??? The single bloodiest, most devastating week in history. Our own personal Antietam. The number you are looking for is 88% ... 88% lost their lives. I have no words. 'Tis rare, yes, but I have no words to describe the scene. 

Some small measure can be found in this one last thought --- save for a few random undefeated survivors, the whole rest of the pool is in the same boat. So many bit the dust, the playing field is very nearly level.

And so onward we merrily roll in Suicide 2015.

That is all.                         

The Root of the Week II

Goodbye doubt and indecision ... the field has narrowed its choices significantly for Week Two. Twenty teams selected? Nay, shocking it will be to make even one quarter of that number. 

And yet still, for the second week in a row, the field has largely gone away from the sound strategy that has produced winners in seasons' past. You do remember the name of the rules, don't you?

Most of the action this week lies on the Saints, and when they come marching in there will be joyous celebration throughout the lands. No slam dunk, however, the seemingly best pick still flaunts a broken rule: Tampa Bay and New Orleans share the same division. Even though the Saints are the home team and the Winston's are quarterbacked by an overrated rookie, this is still a broken rule.

No surprisingly, however . . . the Swami is breaking a rule of his own. No road teams? No problem. The Swami rides the Beloveds this weekend*. I bid you adieu, and look forward to meeting you in week the third.

That is all.

*The Beloveds are the Miami Dolphins, and should you wish to curry favor with Swami, waxing poetic about the beautiful Fish is a great way to start. Pick against them (hmmm, no one dumb enough this week) and you join the list of those who wear the Swami Hex, forever.

Tuesday Taunt I

Were one being honest with oneself -- and let's be honest, one should always be honest with oneself above all else -- one would sit down, breathe deeply, reflect upon the weekend that was in the National Football League ... and realize one has no bloomin' idea what is coming or what will happen next.

Rules were broken. Facades were shattered. Negatives were doubled. Proofs were positived. Twenty-one souls lost their first lives and now enter the sudden death portion of the pool.

I have never seen such things. Twenty different teams were chosen. For those keeping track at home, there are 32 teams in the league and all play on opening day. That means four games -- four! -- had participants on both sides of the ball.

We currently sit at 173 entries with a possible few more trickling in that I missed on the first pass at the spreadsheet; I have been laboring in Lake Tahoe with smoke-filled lungs and only returned on Tuesday night. So therefore there will not be as much pithy banter on the Blog as some of you are used to. It is late and almost time for bed.

The Beloveds were one of the big picks this week, despite playing on the road. So, too, were the Packers -- who broke the double negative and survived, and won proof positive on the road against a division foe. Too many other teams to count -- well, eighteen -- were picked alongside Oakland. Only eleven teams survive. Nine teams fell, taking the 21 with them. The Reaper is intrigued, but not enough to draw him out of his hole.

Just a taste of the standings at this time:

Weekly Statistics
173 participants (and counting)
6 with one loss
16 teams chosen

More serious banter -- including a crystal ball gaze -- will be coming directly; for now the Update will have to suffice on its own. Get ready for the weekend Root, there will be some tasty morsels therein.

That is all.

The Root of the Week I

It is said every season has a champion, every champion has a journey, and every journey has a beginning, and it just so happens that this season's Swami Blog journey begins from an unexpected place ... live from Lake Tahoe on Saturday Night.

Ladies and gentlemen, honored guests, colleagues, heroes, villains, compatriots, competitors, lovers, and friends, I bid you welcome once more to another great and glorious year of the Suicide Pool. Allow myself to introduce myself, your afore-mentioned host, the mischievous, oft-villainous, perhaps murderous, always iniquitous Swami Me.

For those who are new to the Pool, and who therefore have not been party to the word-smithery that comes standard in these parts -- enough hot poetic wax for a Fifty Shades sequel -- allow as well some small measure of introduction, and also erudition, that you might come to survive past the quarter-mark.

Yes, my friends, I will come now to tell of the Two Staples and Five Rules of the Swami Suicide Pool. Rules are made to be broken, 'tis true, and more rules than one cares to admit will be broken this weekend by many experienced veterans of the Pool, and still. Still you must know them, must lay your head on the pillow and remember them, must post them widely and reverently across all manner of media.

The Two Staples of the Suicide Pool are the Root of the Week and the Tuesday Taunt. In the former, the Swami lays down his own weekly pick in advance of Sunday play, as well as the trending popular selections (and while the NFL has dropped Roman Numerals, not so shall the Swami's Root). In the latter, he taunts all those who perished the weekend prior with a Tuesday (oft Thursday) blog post and group email. The Swami, you will come to know, loves chaos, and relishes it.

The Five Rules for making selections in the Suicide Pool are as follows: (1) Never pick a road team; (2) Never pick a team playing a team within its own division; (3) Never pick the Chargers prior to Week Six; (4) Never pick the same team with all five of your entries; and, most importantly, (5) Never pick against the Swami's orange and aqua Beloveds, lest you risk the Swami Hex. Know, and remember.

Week One of 2015 is a schizophrenic slate, a return to form after the heavy first-week favorites of last year. Following a Patriotic win on Thursday night, in which many participants were ushered to safety on the strong and fully-flated arm of Tom Brady, there are, simply stated, no easy match-ups. Rules will be broken. Nerves will be strained. The Reaper is already sharpening the scythe and September has not yet reached its solstice.

The masses have moved in too many directions to count: Cowboys, Bucs, Packers, Cardinals, Beloveds, Panthers, Bengals, Seahawks, Chargers, Vikings, Eagles, Browns, 49ers, Jets, and Raiders, and on and on it goes. Fully half the league has been selected.

It has taken some thought and some skill to find the proper choice this first week for the Swami himself. It would have been the Beloveds, but for a promise of honor to Ze German, who loves his politically incorrect Native American squad even though they be a particular brand of Barkley turrrible. Upon reflection, I remember the words of the brilliant Wadsworth, he of plots and intrigues with nary a Clue to be found, who reminds us all that while monkeys brains -- though popular in Cantonese cuisine -- are not often to be found in Washington DC, double negatives always lead to proof positive . . . and so in breaking a pair of his own rules, Swami will take such positive proof squarely into Week Two.

Packers, for the win.

And so, once more without further ado, with the first Root set and the Pool locked and loaded, I declare this season of the Swami Suicide Pool officially open.

That is all.

Welcome to the '15 Dance, Ladies and Gentlemen ...

                                                                                                                                                                   

Well, hello my lovelies, my beautiful people, has it been so long? The wait has indeed been long, nigh unbearable, and yet it seems we have come once again, come at last, come together to the start of the journey, the stoop of the door, the first rung of the ladder---the return of the NFL Suicide Pool, and yours truly.

It is hoped that time has healed all your wounds, after the chaos and devastation of last season. The entries are flying in, and as of this posting a fair many have already found success in this newly birthed season: the Patriots ran fairly Gronkshod over the Steelers on Thursday night.

Let us dispense with the pleasantries, however, as there will be plenty of time for word-smithery in weeks to come. Let this post serve as your official reference points for all things Suicide Pool.

NFL Suicide Pools have a simple premise: you pick the winner of one single NFL game each week (straight up, no point spreads) and if the team you choose wins their game, you advance to the next week. 

If your team loses, you take a loss, and in the Swami's Suicide Pool two losses eliminates you from competition. You may not pick the same team twice during the regular season (see below for special playoff rules). There are additional details, of course, which are outlined below, but the above is the general gist of things.

That's it, although you are still highly encouraged to read the following in-depth breakdown in its entirety, even those who are experienced Swami Suicide Pool veterans.

(1) Entries - Each participant may enter a minimum of one (1) and a maximum of five (5) entries.

(2) Picks - You pick the winner of a single NFL game each week. No point spreads are involved, which means you pick the straight-up winner. Please note that ties count as losses. Kindly email your weekly picks to SwamiSuicidePool@gmail.com.

(3) Deadline -You must get your pick in by the start of your chosen team’s game (kick-off). If you neglect to send a pick in a given week, the default pick is the home team for the Monday night game. If you have already used that team, the Monday night visiting team is your selection. If you have already used both teams, you lose.

(4) Format - This is a double-elimination tournament; you are allowed one loss. Uno, dos, adios!

(5) Disputes - If rule clarifications or amendments are required mid-season (unlikely) or in the event of disputes (also unlikely), all decisions made by the Swami are final.

(6) Updates - An update email will be sent each week with the number of surviving players, the coming week's schedule of games, and pick selections from the previous weeks. The update will usually come on Tuesday, although the Swami reserves the right to stretch it later into the week, if needed. You can also check this blog for the update. Additionally, the Swami will post his own weekly pick on Saturdays prior to Sunday play, lest he picks the Thursday game, in which case twill be posted on the Day of Wednes.

(7) Playoffs - The playoff structure for 2015 is identical to the format used the past five seasons. Starting in Week Ten (10) of the regular season, any team chosen by a participant is NOT eligible to be selected in the playoffs, where the standard Suicide Rules will apply (i.e. you select one team to win per weekend playoff round). Teams chosen in Weeks One thru Nine (1-9) will be available to be re-selected in the playoffs.

Kindly address questions to the Swami at SwamiSuicidePool@gmail.com.

And so I will leave you all for the time being as I crawl into my robes and gaze into the crystal once more, to return in short order with the first Root of the Week as the world waits eagerly on the eve of gridiron battle.

Let the Swami ride again.

That is all.

Suicide 2015 is Coming . . .

The Root of the Taunt of Super Bowl XLIX

Ladies and gentlemen, we have arrived at the end of the line. The longest yard. The end of the road. The last full measure. The final hour. All of it means and all of it leads back to the same place: Glendale, Arizona.

The Suicide Pool has reached the Super Bowl for the third time in five years. This year, certainly, was the most dramatic, with the number of wins in crazy fashion (most recently as evidenced in Packers-Seahawks, which saw the dreams of one participant fade and the lives of two others continue magically on) too numerous to count.

Four remain alive, but that is mere technicality --- poor Junior is left with no team to select this weekend, what with the Seahawks coming back --- which leaves three possible winners. The two possible outcomes:

Seahawks Win ... The Spawn wins the entirety of the Pool outright.
Patriots Win ... Pool veterans Shiner and Pillow split the championship.

It has come down to this. For those watching at home, we have but eight short months to the return of NFL Suicide Pool 2015. I am counting down the days.

That is all.

The Root of the Conference Championship Playoff Round

Surely the good lord would not interrupt the greatest season in the history of the Spawn's life? So sayeth she, and so sayeth the good Rev, as our fearless foursome marches forward into battle for the 20th time this season.

For those keeping track at home, the surviving group is collectively 76-4 in picking winners this 2014-15 NFL season. Those be some mighty fancy numbers, and that's why they survive, and you are sitting home on the couch watching.

The Spawn is unfazed by her ill fortune last week. She merrily rolls forwards with the weight of the world on her shoulders: Patriots, Colts, Packers, Seahawks. Who to choose, who to choose.

In classic Spawn style ... the Patriots. Onward.

That is all.

Wednesday Taunt - Divisional Playoffs Round

We are down to our final fantastic four.

By virtue of the egg-laying in Denver, we bid adieu to Monkey, Hitman, and J-Ro, as well as to the unscathedness of the Spawn. We have four left, all with one loss, as we move forward to the Conference Championship Round of the NFL playoffs. Only two more games remain in the 2015 season.

Four left: Shiner, Pillow, Junior, and the Spawn.

Only time will tell which of the four will claim the solo mantle, or if we push forward into another year with a shared championship. Flame on, folks, it's clobberin' time.

That is all.

The Root of the Divisional Playoff Round

The Spawn wants to get her Bronco on. That would sound wholly inappropriate if not for the fact that in NFL games this week, the Denver Mannings are hosting the Indianapolis Lucks. 'Tis a clash between old and new, past and future, all swirling in a vortex of present intrigue.

She is not alone in her Bronco love: J-Ro and the Hitman are also riding the horse this weekend. Junior stands alone (for now) on the Seattle Wilsons. Shiner and Pillow are on the Green Bay Rodgers.

We await the pick of Monkey. This blog will be updated as those picks come in. In the words of another famous Bronco: Dalo Por Hecho. Consider it done.

That is all.

Thursday Taunt Wild Card Edition

Alright, everyone, it's time to put on that serious face.

The Wild Card weekend was extremely uneventful after the Cowboys finally showed up to play, roundabout the fourth quarter, and as a result all seven participants emerge unscathed to do battle in the Divisional Round.

We have four games going this weekend, a slate of quality teams in play. Will the 2014 Suicide season reach the 2015 Super Bowl? The answers are soon to come. Only the Spawn remains undefeated, but there are six worthy men and women striving as hard against the siren song of the Reaper -- enough for anyone to warrant a little serious.

That is all.

The Root of the Wild Card Weekend

Let the days of chaos reign. Let the playoff battle begin.

It has come down to this, the final four-week stretch for just seven remaining participants. Six of the picks are in: we have Monkey and Pillow on the Panthers, with Shiner, J-Ro and Junior on the Cowboys. The sixth pick is the Spawn's, who also rests in the long grass with Carolina and hopes the old axiom of the home team holds true. We await the Hitman's selection.

In the time honored tradition of those who battle fiercely for their own survival, those who are about to die salute you.

That is all.