Swami's NFL Pool 2018: Week 1 Lowlights

September 13, 2010

Week 1 Lowlights

This guy's back in the saddle for Philly...sorry to anyone who gambled and took Kevin Kolb as their Fantasy QB...

See Bears coach Lovie Smith try to get in the endzone in the 4th quarter 1) at home 2) against the Lions 3) who were using junior-high-caliber QB Shaun Hill (after Stafford's shoulder injury) instead of kicking the potential game winning field goal? Needless to say, Matt Forte got stuffed 3 times and the Lions had a dramatic game winning TD to Calvin Johnson...or not...

Pete Carroll got a big win in his Seattle Seahawks debut . . . about 12 hours after USC survived Virginia at home, 17-14. Don't get to excited about the Seahawks though, Pete always wins early. Too bad the NFL doesn't have a team in Oregon, or that would be a lock in the Suicide Pool.

With Carolina QB Matt Moore turning the ball over 5 times and getting a concussion, Jimmy Clausen's up next. Can't wait to see him try to tell Steve Smith how he should run his routes like he did with his Notre Dame WRs.

More later......

Introducing . . .

. . . Ze German, a frothy, filthy, unfiltered 'Skins-lover bringing you weekly rants from his tapestry-laden castle high upon the Zugspitze peak. There is wisdom and method to his madness, however, so pay attention -- just look out for the women and children.

. . . The Holy Light, and the best of us, a beacon of strength, dignity, and truth, and shining where there is darkness. As it was in Ezekiel, his word is his bond and his name is the law, and he shall strike down those who dare not listen when he doth speak.

. . . The Hooded Fiend, brilliant, diabolical, devious -- the smartest man you've never met, and will never have the chance. Locked away in the dungeons below a nondescript building, we only bring the Fiend out to post when the situation is most dire.

. . . El Doctor, the tall, dark, hunky, and handsome resident surgeon of Suicide. Women love his strong hands, men respect his keen mind, and Swami requires his wicked wit, but no one understands his almost unholy passion for autos and linen pants.

. . . Man of Wench, that staunch fan of all things Philly and a fine specimen of masculinity, bold enough to tie the knot with the feisty, infamous Wench. Whether at the grill or at the bar, with a healthy glass of vino in his hand he'll bill you by the hour for a taste of his good times.

. . . Master of Macabre, a delightfully sinful and sinister purveyor of doom and gloom, keeper of all things dark and deathly. It is unsure what horrifies more: his spectral air, his cadaverous crypt, his Machiavellian machinations, or his penchant for Princess and the Frog.

. . . Shapeshifter, he of the ever-changing ways, ever-shifting forms, and everlasting enthusiasm. Our newest commentator brings forth pomp, verbosity, and circumstance on scale to rival even the Swami himself. Shifty, yes, and subtle when necessary, his form is never out of fashion.