Swami's NFL Pool 2018

September 30, 2010

Fiend's Five Under Fire

A weekly look at five coaches feeling the heat

1. Jack Del Rio, Jacksonville Jaguars

Standing 1-2 after the first 3 weeks, the pressure is building in J-Ville for the NFL's king of leather jackets. After the upcoming loss to Indianapolis, Del Rio will be the driver of the bus that QB David Garrard is thrown under and will secure his job for another few weeks. Then, predictably, ESPN's "sources" can start the Urban Meyer to Jacksonville rumors.

2. Mike Singletary, San Francisco 49ers

The end of the line is near when you fire your hand picked offensive coordinator, Jimmy Raye. Anyone else think this offense would look pretty good right now if Singletary didn't immediately axe Mike Martz last year? Always a good idea to make sure your OC can get a play down to the QB within 45 seconds too...

3. Norv Turner, San Diego Chargers

Nuff said.

4. John Fox, Carolina Panthers

Gone are the days of the stout Carolina defenses that carried Fox deep into the playoffs in 2003 and 2005. An 0-4 start looks certain as a trip to NFC South rival New Orleans awaits in Week Four. Aside from job security, Fox has to worry about Jimmy "4 Heismans" Clausen getting Steve Smith killed over the middle. On the flipside, Steve Smith might just kill Jimmy Clausen for hanging him out to dry over the middle.

5. Tom Cable, Oakland Raiders

The Jawbreaker, as he is known, is probably still coaching in the NFL only because he is Al Davis' type of coach. A highly unsuccessful head coach at all levels (11-35 record at WAC powerhouse Idaho) with a history of violence, Cable is a perfect fit for the Commitment to Excrement. A change will come mid-season and Davis will likely hire longtime favorite Paul Hackett. Oh the horror.

Waiting on deck....

Eric Mangini, Cleveland Browns

Brad Childress, Minnesota Vikings

Wade Phillips, Dallas Cowboys

Introducing . . .

. . . Ze German, a frothy, filthy, unfiltered 'Skins-lover bringing you weekly rants from his tapestry-laden castle high upon the Zugspitze peak. There is wisdom and method to his madness, however, so pay attention -- just look out for the women and children.

. . . The Holy Light, and the best of us, a beacon of strength, dignity, and truth, and shining where there is darkness. As it was in Ezekiel, his word is his bond and his name is the law, and he shall strike down those who dare not listen when he doth speak.

. . . The Hooded Fiend, brilliant, diabolical, devious -- the smartest man you've never met, and will never have the chance. Locked away in the dungeons below a nondescript building, we only bring the Fiend out to post when the situation is most dire.

. . . El Doctor, the tall, dark, hunky, and handsome resident surgeon of Suicide. Women love his strong hands, men respect his keen mind, and Swami requires his wicked wit, but no one understands his almost unholy passion for autos and linen pants.

. . . Man of Wench, that staunch fan of all things Philly and a fine specimen of masculinity, bold enough to tie the knot with the feisty, infamous Wench. Whether at the grill or at the bar, with a healthy glass of vino in his hand he'll bill you by the hour for a taste of his good times.

. . . Master of Macabre, a delightfully sinful and sinister purveyor of doom and gloom, keeper of all things dark and deathly. It is unsure what horrifies more: his spectral air, his cadaverous crypt, his Machiavellian machinations, or his penchant for Princess and the Frog.

. . . Shapeshifter, he of the ever-changing ways, ever-shifting forms, and everlasting enthusiasm. Our newest commentator brings forth pomp, verbosity, and circumstance on scale to rival even the Swami himself. Shifty, yes, and subtle when necessary, his form is never out of fashion.