Weekend Taunt XII

No changes in the Thanksgiving Week, a week of giving thanks, indeed. The Reaper spent time with family and the participants got through with their souls intact. No losses in the Twelfth Week means sh

Marino Week arrives ... and the Reaper returns. Beware.

That is all.

Weekend Taunt XI

Twelve more souls depart. One soul remains unscathed. Take a bow, G-Pa 02 ... now everyone left is gunning for you.

Week Eleven Stats
159 participants
1 participant at 11-0
17 participants at 10-1
141 participants deceased
12 slapping their foreheads after Week 11

The cream has risen. From this top 12%, who will ascend even higher?

That is all.

The Fiery Taunt of the Root of the RIP Week

And so the Swami returns to the land of the living, having come through smoke and fire and flame . . . 

. . . only to be ousted from the Swami Pool by virtue of wing-clipped birds shot down by (one night not) impotent cowpokes . . .

. . . along with fifty other fellows who thought the Eagles, Jets, Falcons, etc, would ensure Week Ten survival.

'Twas not to be, however - only a few got through unscathed and so now we look at a much more manageable field: three unbeatens only and two dozen more.

Week Nine/Ten Stats
159 participants
3 undefeated at 10-0
24 with one loss at 9-1
132 deceased

Side bets on whether this topsy turvy season will reach the playoffs will be taken. 

The Swami is dead. Long live the Swami.

That is all.

The Root of the Week IX

Separation once again. This is a pivotal week, there are no easy matchups, and therefore separation is on the menu. The strong will separate from the weak. The talented will separate from the mediocre. The kids will separate from the parents. 

As in, no more tandem jumping. The Swami Clan has tandem jumped almost every week this season ... with mostly great success ... but will now be taking their talents in different directions.

Why, you ask?

Well, Week Three saw the Clan take the Vikings at home against the Bills -- and go down 24-0 in the first quarter of the game, ne'er to recover. So while the Bears traveling into Buffalo seems like a fantabulous proposition, the Swami remembers.

The Patriots in November is always a good bet, particularly out of their own divisions, but the Packers are desperate and Discount Double Check is very excited to best the GOAT Tom Brady.

Hence, the tandem split. The kids will roll Patriots and the grown-ups will roll Bears.

That is all.

Saturday Taunt VIII

Like sands through the hourglass, so go the days of our lives. Like wheat at the blade of a scythe, so fall the stalks of the field. Like souls through the middle weeks of this season ... everyone prevails.

Apparently, the Reaper so dramatically hard those first three weeks, it's not a vacation, it's a sabbatical. No one lost in Week Eight - not one loser, not the one.

159 participants
10 players at 8-0
64 players at 7-1

87 deceased

Reminder: Week Nine is the last week you can select a team and still reuse them in the playoffs. Please make sure you brush up on the Playoff Rules because this becomes important at least every other year.

That is all.

The Root of the Week VIII

Put your Warpaint on, kids. The Swami Clan is breakin' rules. One of the strongly recommended Rules for Survival of the Swami Pool is:

# - Do Not Pick a Team Playing Against a Team in Their Division

Strange things happen in divisional games, talent be damned. Still, there are only two selections left before the Playoff Rules kick in, and if the Swami Clan does want to use them, they will need to do so this week ... and break the Swami's own divisional rule.

The Chiefs to Mahomes all over the Broncos at home on Sunday.

That is all.

Saturday Taunt VII

Well, that was close. Far too close. Like Bart says, the Swami will not do the Dirty Bird anymore this season, thank you kindly Atlanta. 

We move into the middle rounds of the season where our inexorable climb continues. A few people fall from the side of the cliff, the rest watch them fall and then look for the next hand-hold. After three crazy weeks to start the year, in which more honor, virtue, and life was lost than a Littlefinger establishment in Westeros, we have settled in and start to gravitate back towards the norms.

Weekend Stats
159 participants
10 undefeated at 7-0
64 with one loss at 6-1
87 deceased

The great game rolls merrily onward. Who will sit upon the Swami throne at season's end?

That is all.

The Root of the Week VII

Everyone loves a Dirty Bird, even if they don't admit it. The Swami Clan loves the Dirty Birds on Monday even more than on Sunday, and will ride Julio and the Ice to greatness and glory ... and into Week Eight.

That is all.

Saturday Taunt VI

The Reaper continues his vacationing ways as only three souls drop this weekend past -- and deservedly so, betting against the Beloveds. Woe be to those who would diminish the greatness and glory of the Beloved Fish.

Onward we merrily roll into Week Seven with 81 participants still in the fold.

That is all.

The Root of the Week VI

A double dose of teams for the Swami Clan on this fine Week Six, a double dose of teams and thus a double dose of images. There is no pick to feel good about, not ever, in this crazy 2018 season ... but I suppose if one was to feel good about anything, it would be (1) a backup quarterback for an otherwise extraordinarily medium team going into Rodgers-land (despite the gimp) and, therefore, highly unlikely to Lambeau Leap, and (2) a rookie-and-yes-plays-like-an-unseasoned-rookie-led team in the NFL going up against a highly competitive if somewhat up-and-down (are not they all) defensive-oriented squad from the great state of Texas.

Honestly, who knows. We just know it is unlikely -- not a given -- that both teams lose. The Reaper might scythe one or two, but the pack prevails.

Packers and Texans, FTMFW.

That is all.

Thursday Taunt V

He was so busy, so very busy those first three weeks, it seems the Reaper has gone on vacation. Seven losses total in Week Four and six losses total in Week Five; yes, our dear Reaper is no doubt sitting on a beach, sipping a Mai Tai, enjoying a little hard earned rest.

159 participants
11 players at 5-0
73 players at 4-1

6 players bearing the Swami Hex

76 deceased

It is clearly time to return, however -- the Swami Hex ensures there are several participants will meet the scythe coming very soon.

The Swami Hex, for those unfamiliar, falls upon the heads of those participants bold enough to pick against the Swami's Beloved team, the Miami Dolphins. For Week Five, there were several who picked against the Beloveds ... and now the Swami Hex has you, and off to Reaperland you will assuredly shortly go.

The beaches were lovely and the surf was divine, dear friend, but back to work you must now go. Beware, beware, and especially Bonanza, Festivus Monarchus, D-White, Ughhh Sand, and That Guy. The Swami Hex is yours.

That is all.

The Root of the Week V

When the going got tough, the tough got big cats to help protect from the Reaper's dangerous blade. To those who say two cats ain't better than one, or two cats in the hand are worth one scythe in the bush, or two cats out of three ain't bad, I say . . .

Two cats plus two wins equals safety through Week Five.

Much of the field has already found itself on safer shores, riding the red-hot Patriots and their 500 TD man to success on Thursday night, while the rest of us must toil and trouble on this particular given Sunday.

Panthers for the Swami Clan, if you please.

That is all.

The Root of the Week IV

In times of chaos it is good to reflect upon historical achievements to fuel one's successes in the moment. It was Week 10 of 2013 that featured one of the great Swami moments in the annals of this glorious pool: the selection of the winless (0-9) Jaguars to best a strong Titans squad of that time. Ninety-two participants, which represented most of the remaining field, selected the Titans to win.

The Swami went with the Jags.

It was a flying leap into an unknown abyss ... it just so happened the abyss was filled with the sounds of victory and happiness, and the Swami went on to finish Top Five in the pool that year while the 92 fell by the swipe the Reaper's titan-sized scythe.

In this time of chaos, when no one knows what will truly happen, when the Beloveds have a two-game lead in the AFC East and still celebrate with their '72 brethren, when the Reaper is so tired after all his work last weekend that he cannot possibly lift himself to work once more and perhaps has imposed a one-week hiatus, the Swami will return to historic achievement.

The Jags for the Clan, if you please.

That is all.

Friday Taunt III

For many years now I have been using this image, the scythe-wielding Grim Reaper. It comes out once per year after a week of dramatic destruction. The Reaper has most often made his appearance in Week Five; patterns developed over the first four weeks are ransacked in the fifth, and the Reaper reaps the benefit.

The Reaper has never before appeared in Week Three -- and has never before presided over a week with as much devastation as Week Three of 2018. Quite simply, the results were breathtaking.

First, the Vikings, also known as the biggest upset in NFL history. A "project" rookie QB surrounded by medium talent on the road against the roster considered by many to be the most complete in the entire league. Seventeen point favorites ... who were down by several more points than that by the end of the first quarter. The Vikings were BOAT-RACED. They took 92 participants with them -- by itself, this one loss would've been enough to enter the Top Three of Worst Weeks Ever.

But then came the Jaguars and Patriots. The Jaguars? An inexplicable loss. The Patriots? Not quite as inexplicable given they were playing a team with inside info, but still: the Lions? Really, Tom?

Grand total: 125 participant losses in one week. We have only 11 undefeated teams left and it's only Week Four. The Reaper has already swept 63 participants under the blade of his scythe, twice. It's a brutal, brutal year.

Week Three Stats
11 undefeated
86 with one loss
125 week three losers
63 deceased

That is all.

The Root of the Week III

The Swami Clan is in the market for Cousins and so to the Cousin's Market we shall go. After a moderate scare in the the Heavenly City -- you know, until Cleveland* -- we will turn our Week Three sights to the Twins.

The Bills are hapless and the iron-armed quarterback will do little to amend that point of fact. Therefore, still smarting off a tie to their fiercest division rival, the merry band of Cousin Men will ready their wooden ships and their horned helmets and search for their place in Valhalla on the field of glorious battle.

They will find it. Vikings across the board.

That is all.
                                                                                                                                                                                                     

Thursday Taunt II

Apparently, we love LA.

The Rams and the Chargers dominant victories accounted for the vast majority of pool participant success ... those who went elsewhere for their teams had significantly mixed results. The Saints eeked out a win, the 49ers scratched out a win, the Broncos found paydirt, and the Bears enjoyed Monday Night.

As for the Redskins, Steelers, Jets, Texans, Vikings, and Eagles? Not so much.

Week Two Statistics
160 participants
79 undefeated
75 with one loss
6 uno dos, adios

Only 19 Week Two losers but enough to send six souls packing, including a pair of former winners. The Era of NFL Parity makes for difficult Survivor slogging.

That is all. 

The Root of the Week II

Enter week two, which sees many veteran Swami Pool participants throwing caution to the wind and breaking rules left and right. For the newbies, we will review the Swami Rules for Survival in the text of this week's Taunt -- Swami has a brunch to run to.

The Swami Clan has its usual group working the Pool this season: Swami himself, The Factor, Darth Bennett, Avery of Avalor, and Spawn of Swami.

The first three will look for lightning to strike ever-so-sweetly on the road to singe the slew of Buffalo-based Ta-Tonka. The younger ladies of the latter two will sing with the heavens and hope the fallen bounce back from the previous weekend, and rise again to put the Browns back in their usual column.

Best of luck to those who already feel the shadow of the Reaper.

That is all.

Friday Taunt I

Good lord, you should see what comes up when one googles 'Fallen Saint'. I thought it fitting, of course, given the fallen Saints accounted for over 50 losses on this past first weekend of football. For those counting at home, with the Lions loss and the Steelers tie (loss), that's more than 1/3 of the pool felt the first swipe of the scythe.

The initial update is later than usual; lots of new names and faces to prep. We are holding at 159 entries, a solid number, and just enough to whet the appetite for the long season ahead -- at least, long for some of us. Some of us will certainly feel the uno dos, adios call on Sunday next.

Weekend Statistics
159 participants
97 undefeated at 1-0
67 with one loss
no deceased

The Ravens were popular, although why there were not MORESO is beyond me. Against Nathan Peterman. Still, the Swami and Clan move forth unscathed on the back of Poe's team - and the rocket arm of Flickety Flacco.

Onward we merrily roll to Week Two, when you would be best not to meet the Reaper this week.

That is all.

The Root of the Week I

Hello my lovelies, my beautieus, and welcome to another great and glorious year of the Swami Pool. For those who do not know, the Swami shall visit this space each and every week to post his own particular picks, so as to ensure honesty and transparency in a crazy mixed up world.

There will be witticisms and the occasional reference to this or to that, smiles and laughs encouraged if not required. This particular week, the first week for some, a week yet to come, a week long past, the Swami will roll into the beginning with the men of Poe, who will toil and labor greatly en route to sizable victory over the Ta-Tonka Men of Northern New York.

Normally, the Swami saves Baltimore for a later week and then inserts some fun little paragraph quoting the Raven -- "Nevermore" -- but this week sees the clock turning well into the morning hours, and the bed beckons.

Therefore, and for the newbies, a simple Swami Picks Baltimore for the Win will suffice, along with a comment that many different teams have been picked for this first week, although the Saints seem to be getting significant action, and onward we merrily roll -- those who survive -- into Week Two.

That is all.

Welcome to the Swami NFL Pool for 2018

I know, I know ... the hour is late and the time is dwindling, and yet and yet we make it in just under the wire.

Hello beautiful people, fellow football fans, and my apologies for making you sweat the return of our beloved Swami Pool into this sweltering September. The wait was long, but as Heinz once said, the best things come to those who wait, and so here we stand at the start of the journey. The Reaper is ready to ring the bell.

And so, as they say, to business.

Let this post serve as your official reference point for all things related to the Swami Pool. The Pool has a simple premise: you pick the winner of one single NFL game each week (straight up, no point spreads) and if the team you choose wins their game, you advance to the next week.

If your team loses, you take a loss, and in the Swami's Pool two losses eliminates you from competition. You may not pick the same team twice during the regular season (see below for special playoff rules). There are additional details, of course, but the above is the general gist of things.

That's it, although you are still highly encouraged to read the following in-depth breakdown in its entirety, even those who are experienced Swami Suicide Pool veterans.

(1) Entries - Each participant may enter a minimum of one (1) and a maximum of five (5) entries.

(2) Picks - You pick the winner of a single NFL game each week. No point spreads are involved, which means you pick the straight-up winner. Please note that ties count as losses. Kindly email your weekly picks to SwamiSuicidePool@gmail.com.

(3) Deadline -You must get your pick in by the start of your chosen team’s game (kick-off). If you neglect to send a pick in a given week, the default pick is the home team for the Monday night game. If you have already used that team, the Monday night visiting team is your selection. If you have already used both teams, you lose.

(4) Format - This is a double-elimination tournament; you are allowed one loss. Uno, dos, adios!

(5) Disputes - If rule clarifications or amendments are required mid-season (unlikely) or in the event of disputes (also unlikely), all decisions made by the Swami are final.

(6) Updates - An update email will be sent each week with the number of surviving players, the coming week's schedule of games, and pick selections from the previous weeks. The update will usually come Tuesday, although the Swami reserves the right to stretch it later into the week, if needed. You can also check this blog for the update. Additionally, the Swami will post his own weekly pick on Saturdays prior to Sunday play, lest he picks the Thursday game, in which case twill be posted on the Day of Wednes.

(7) Playoffs - The playoff structure for 2018 is identical to the format used the past eight seasons. Starting in Week Ten (10) of the regular season, any team chosen by a participant is NOT eligible to be selected in the playoffs, where the standard Swami Rules will apply (i.e. you select one team to win per weekend playoff round). Teams chosen in Weeks One thru Nine (1-9) will be available to be re-selected in the playoffs.

Kindly address questions to the Swami at SwamiSuicidePool@gmail.com.

And so I will leave you all for the time being as I retire to the sanctity of my inner sanctum; my robes and my crystal ball await, my all-seeing eye is twitching, and the Reaper waits beyond yonder door, at the ready should I stumble. I will return in short order with the first Root of the Week as the world waits eagerly on the eve of gridiron battle.

Let the Swami ride again.

That is all.

The End of the Regular Season XVII

We are not to the finish line just yet. We have, however, read a pausing place of sorts - the end of the Regular Season for the NFL 2017. Once again, the Swami Pool has reached the end with participants remaining: nine, to be exact.

The kicker? All nine teams have one loss.

Week Seventeen saw the last remaining unbeaten fall at the hands of the Redskin-killers, those mangy Giants, who also knocked a pair of participants out. We bid adieu to Wench and the Holland Girls - it was an awesome run.

Nine remain, including one Swami entry. The finish line is in view. Good luck to us all.

That is all.