Swami's NFL Pool 2018: Tuesday Taunt VIII

November 2, 2011

Tuesday Taunt VIII

Week Eight Statistics

18 undefeated at 8-0

62 with one loss at 7-1

11 week eight losers

68 participants dead

In the immortal words of Johnny Five, "Yo. Yooooo!"*

Our little Suicide Pool rolls a natural in Week Eight and drop kicks the week's titular number from competition. The losses came courtesy mostly of the talented Saints of New Orleans, who were stunned by the previously winless Rams. I will remind everyone of the Swami's thoughts on picking against winless teams post Week Seven: DON'T DO IT.

There was one who heeded that call, having cast aside his preferred pick of the Saints in favor of the Ravens, only after recalling the sound words of Swami. Friend O' Hard Hat, we salute you.

*Yo or yo-leven is dicing lingo for a 6-5 split (rolling eleven). Feel free to use it in a sentence this week.

That is all.

Introducing . . .

. . . Ze German, a frothy, filthy, unfiltered 'Skins-lover bringing you weekly rants from his tapestry-laden castle high upon the Zugspitze peak. There is wisdom and method to his madness, however, so pay attention -- just look out for the women and children.

. . . The Holy Light, and the best of us, a beacon of strength, dignity, and truth, and shining where there is darkness. As it was in Ezekiel, his word is his bond and his name is the law, and he shall strike down those who dare not listen when he doth speak.

. . . The Hooded Fiend, brilliant, diabolical, devious -- the smartest man you've never met, and will never have the chance. Locked away in the dungeons below a nondescript building, we only bring the Fiend out to post when the situation is most dire.

. . . El Doctor, the tall, dark, hunky, and handsome resident surgeon of Suicide. Women love his strong hands, men respect his keen mind, and Swami requires his wicked wit, but no one understands his almost unholy passion for autos and linen pants.

. . . Man of Wench, that staunch fan of all things Philly and a fine specimen of masculinity, bold enough to tie the knot with the feisty, infamous Wench. Whether at the grill or at the bar, with a healthy glass of vino in his hand he'll bill you by the hour for a taste of his good times.

. . . Master of Macabre, a delightfully sinful and sinister purveyor of doom and gloom, keeper of all things dark and deathly. It is unsure what horrifies more: his spectral air, his cadaverous crypt, his Machiavellian machinations, or his penchant for Princess and the Frog.

. . . Shapeshifter, he of the ever-changing ways, ever-shifting forms, and everlasting enthusiasm. Our newest commentator brings forth pomp, verbosity, and circumstance on scale to rival even the Swami himself. Shifty, yes, and subtle when necessary, his form is never out of fashion.