The Root of the Week VIII

It seems that everybody is a Cheesehead this week. I have not taken an official survey, but the group has spoken, and anyone who has the Bay of Green left in the tank for Week Eight has tapped that reserve, and tapped it hard.

This includes the Spawn and the Factor, and for those uneducated few, or those for whom the Swami life and culture references fly far, far above, the Spawn and Factor are the offspring and mate of the Swami, respectively.

In other words, the Packers hold the fate of the masses in their hands, not to mention the Swami himself in the Second Life. I suppose there are worse hands to be in that those of Aaron Rodgers. At least, that's what Destiny Newton tells us.

That is all.

Tuesday Taunt VII

And just like that, the pendulum swings.

Weekly Statistics
135 participants
12 undefeateds
32 with one loss
91 deceased

One death and one death only this week, technically, suffered by the third of the Avercrombies, clearly the runt of the litter, always destined to look up at the undefeated first born. The referenced technically regards Wick and Chick, who also fall below the line as neither Wick nor Chick recognized they doubled up the Dirty Birds, and so down they go.

For the rest of the masses, this week was like a breath of fresh air, a long swig of water in the midst of the desert, or perhaps following the line of the pendulum, much like a certain unnamed narrator* who feels the red hot walls closing in, pushing him towards the edge and the abyss, and only just as he stumbles and starts to fall, knowing death is coming, does the merciful hand of the French Army take hold, pulling him back to safety.

Will we find more mercy in the bosom of Week Eight? I doubt it. There is usually calm before great storm, and this has been a tempestuous season, indeed.

Into the fray we go again, dear friends.

That is all.

.

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*It's Poe again, people. Did none of you read anything in college?

The Root of the Week VII

Yet another week is upon us with choices galore, and none of them good. The masses are moving in different directions entirely, some having already struck gold with the 49ers, others riding bareback on the Colts, still more pledging their allegiance to the Patriots, a bold handful going rogue with the Raiders, several Cheeseheads, a pair of Giants, a Boys-lover, a Texans-taker, and one entire family hibernating until Monday with the Bears.

As for the Swami and the Factor and the Spawn, we also have divided our interests: the young ones feel a little Lucky, what woman doesn't love Tom Brady, and I have decided to be the only participant, Second Life or otherwise, to back the resurgent Bills.

That is all.

Thursday Taunt VI

The Dirty Dozen.

There are twelve undefeateds remaining, six short weeks in. There are forty-six participants in total, six short weeks in. By comparison, the numbers were 22/95 at this stage last year, the 2011 campaign, which everyone thought was a tough year of universal devastation and pain en masse.

This year makes 2011 look like a children's choir singing Kumbaya.

Weekend Statistics

135 participants

12 undefeateds

34 with one loss

89 participants dead

15 week six losers

Fifteen more souls depart, and there is no Second Life for them to turn to. They enter that gray twilight, that sad purgatory that exists between football pool death and the following pre-season. It is a long, sad time, and we wish you well.

That is all.

The Root of the Week VI

My apologies to those few of you who perished on the Steelers this past Thursday. Still, once again, picking teams on the road is a sure-fire way to reach your Second Life.

We've got another monster brewing in Week Six, with the masses flying high with the Dirty Birds. In years past I would not think much of such a week, prepping my dialogue for the eventuality that was everyone moving forward safely, but this is 2012, the year of chaos and destruction, the year of upset death, and so.

And so I tread warily upon the commentary this week. The Swami Curse has crushed many a poor participant this year, and I know the power of my words. More to the point is the fact that I, too, in Second Life, and the Spawn and Factor in Suicide, are also rolling Hot-lanta style. We move forward, or perish, together.

That is all.

Tuesday Taunt V

Weekend Statistics
61 participants
14 undefeateds
47 with one loss
14 week five losers

Oh, what a woeful group the losers are this week. Some fourteen in all, the general sentiment is that those who perished need not have perished, and deserve their defeat.

Why, you ask? Of what sin and woe doth the Swami speak?

Packers, Chargers, Bengals. Do not pick teams on the road. Do not pick the Chargers before Week Six. Do not pick against my Beloveds.

All of this is known, and yet . . . and yet . . . fourteen of you tempted fate. Fourteen souls got lost in the dark, not knowing or not caring to know, not following the Suicide law, and as such, fourteen souls perished. A sad day, but no one will ask why.

Which leaves us with 61 participants still standing, less than one-half the field only five weeks in, with lots more football to play. Perhaps playoff strategy begins to melt as week-to-week survival moves to the fore.

That is all.

The Root of the Week V

"I am born again, and live a second life."

So sayeth the Swami, and a handful of others who find new lease on life with the 1st Annual Swami Second Life Pool.

Not to be confused with the brave souls who still diligently strive for success and glory in the Suicide Pool, and contrary to common question, never the twain shall meet. In separation infinitus.

The Swami rides the coattails of the Spawn this week, plopping my Second Life down on what lies at the top of the beanstalk, along with my little deductions --- and my yang, as it happens. The other members of the Swami ride Coughlin's brood in Week Five, as well.

Action on the G-Men, the 49ers, the Texans, the Vikings, and a host of other teams much likelier to lose. Week Five in 2011 was brutal on the Giants; perhaps the chaos will reign again in 2012, though it is unlikely.

Strap on your cap, buckle your belt, and grab your wooden club as we roll into Week Five, Fo Fum, where I smell the end of this meaningless pun.

That is all.

Tuesday Taunt IV

Weekend Statistics

135 participants
17 undefeateds
56 with one loss
62 deceased
5 week four losers

Perhaps you think it's time to get comfortable. Have a seat on the couch, put the feet up, grab a cold one, slip a hand in. Perhaps, by virtue of one successful week of football.

Sadly, you are mistaken.

Like Phil and the Jam of Pearl, I can feel it coming, and the Swami is never wrong. Week Five was an E.L.E. in 2011. What will the coming weekend bring?

Someone call Morgan Freeman. I'm headed for the caves.

That is all.