Friday Taunt X

In considering all the different ways to go about this Friday Taunt, which is truly a celebration of carnage on massive scale, both mind and crystal ball kept coming back repeatedly to the same general thought: who dares pick against the Beloveds.

Who, indeed? Previous undefeated KayTay, as well as the following now deceased ne'er-do-wells: Nuttman, daShrink, three Big Nasties, CoastieCouple, True Fact, Mission Impossible, Monkey2, and Chupacabra. There are some serious Swami Pool veterans in that bunch ... knowst thou nothing?

The Swami Hex returned in vicious force in Week Ten - Jobu was out for blood. The angry little Haitian man was so angry, in fact, he pulled 20 other poor souls down with the Eagle-riding, Beloved-failing twelve. It was a Dirty Dozen that caused the wrath of Swami and his Jobu friend . . .

. . . and thus, coincidentally, it is a Dirty Dozen that remains.

Only twelve souls still survive. There are no undefeateds. Apparently the only thing you can do to survive a really bad week of carnage is choose the Steelers, who are the only team to have pulled a significant number out of the ashes of the Week That Shall Not Be Named, and now this ugly Week Ten.

Week 10 Stats
189 participants
0 undefeated
12 with one loss
177 deceased
35 week ten losers

*I will post the picks of the remaining twelve on the blog on Sunday night, then follow with a full update during the week.

We are battered and bruised, but perhaps now we have learned our lesson. No more rooting against the Beloveds. No more chaos and devastation. Only twelve remain. So goes forth the Dozen.


That is all.

The Root of the Week I

Ladies and gentlemen, honored guests, compatriots, colleagues, competitors, and friends, I bid you welcome to another great and glorious year of the Suicide Pool.

It is customary at this time for the host, yours truly, to wax poetic on the wonders of football and the delights of gambling degeneration, the perils and pleasures of weekly team selection. It is customary, but not required, and despite this being the first week, this week I will not.

There are some of you who are new to the Pool, and thus have not had the benefit of my dialogue-ing ways, nor have you come to understand those things in this life I hold most dear. It is quite simple really.

Family. Friends. Fish.

There are many of you, however, who know this deep and soulful truth. There are many of you, any of you who have found the Suicide Pool in past years, who know of my Beloveds, the Miami Dolphins.

And yet you pick against them.

You pick against them, and risk the Swami wrath, and so I shall lay down one of my infamous, diabolical, delicious soothsayer curses: let it be known emphatically at this time that no veteran participant of the Pool who has chosen to ride the Texans in Week One will find themselves standing at the end, when the dust settles, when the champion is crowned. So sayeth the Swami. You have brought this upon yourselves.

Let us now move on to more pleasant topics. For those who are new, there are two staples of the Suicide Pool blog: the Root of the Week and the Tuesday Taunt. In the former, the Swami lays down his weekly pick in advance of Sunday play, as well as the trending popular selections. In the latter, he taunts all those who perished the weekend prior. The Swami* loves chaos, and relishes it.

In classic Week One style, we've got multiple teams on the docket: Texans (boo), Lions, Eagles, Bears, Vikings, Panthers, Saints, Ravens, Seahawks, Jets, Patriots, and Falcons, among others. In other words, the situation is ripe; not all will move unscathed to Week Two. Where does the allegiance of the Swami lie, you ask? Methinks the Big Kitties chow down on the Lunchables of St Louis.

And so, without further ado, I declare this season of Suicide officially open . . . and they're off.

That is all.

*The Swami promises to only sporadically refer to himself in the third person. It shall only be doled out in small doses.