Swami's NFL Pool 2018: Jobu

November 20, 2015

Friday Taunt X

In considering all the different ways to go about this Friday Taunt, which is truly a celebration of carnage on massive scale, both mind and crystal ball kept coming back repeatedly to the same general thought: who dares pick against the Beloveds.

Who, indeed? Previous undefeated KayTay, as well as the following now deceased ne'er-do-wells: Nuttman, daShrink, three Big Nasties, CoastieCouple, True Fact, Mission Impossible, Monkey2, and Chupacabra. There are some serious Swami Pool veterans in that bunch ... knowst thou nothing?

The Swami Hex returned in vicious force in Week Ten - Jobu was out for blood. The angry little Haitian man was so angry, in fact, he pulled 20 other poor souls down with the Eagle-riding, Beloved-failing twelve. It was a Dirty Dozen that caused the wrath of Swami and his Jobu friend . . .

. . . and thus, coincidentally, it is a Dirty Dozen that remains.

Only twelve souls still survive. There are no undefeateds. Apparently the only thing you can do to survive a really bad week of carnage is choose the Steelers, who are the only team to have pulled a significant number out of the ashes of the Week That Shall Not Be Named, and now this ugly Week Ten.

Week 10 Stats
189 participants
0 undefeated
12 with one loss
177 deceased
35 week ten losers

*I will post the picks of the remaining twelve on the blog on Sunday night, then follow with a full update during the week.

We are battered and bruised, but perhaps now we have learned our lesson. No more rooting against the Beloveds. No more chaos and devastation. Only twelve remain. So goes forth the Dozen.

That is all.

September 28, 2013

The Root of the Week IV

How dare you.

How dare you dubious degenerates, looking to actively root against the Swami Beloveds on Monday night. Do you not know of the Swami wrath? Do you not know of the Swami Hex?

The Reaper is grinning, his scythe sharpened, as he awaits yonder Tuesday morning, and the Swami waits to Taunt those who Saintly fell.

You still have time to change your pick. If you do not, and death awaits, do not say I did not warn you.

For the rest---those wiser, more compassionate, more amiable---I will direct my below comments to you.

Hello! I hope all is well with you, my friends, friends of years, friends of tears! I wish you all the best this week, Week the Fourth, and while normally I enjoy chaos and the creation of havoc, in this instance I am hoping your every pick comes through, your every hope and dream comes true. As for Swami, the choice proved difficult, but as the Chief myself of this pool, the answer came soon and swift enough.

Oh, and one more thing: as Tarantino Leo was apt to say, I am always looking for a good bit of fun, and so I will grant one free entry ($40 value) to the participant he or she who texts me the hometown birthplace of the first Dolphin to score a touchdown on Monday Night.

Jobu will be watching. The Swami hex be on those who ride the heavens.

That is all.

Introducing . . .

. . . Ze German, a frothy, filthy, unfiltered 'Skins-lover bringing you weekly rants from his tapestry-laden castle high upon the Zugspitze peak. There is wisdom and method to his madness, however, so pay attention -- just look out for the women and children.

. . . The Holy Light, and the best of us, a beacon of strength, dignity, and truth, and shining where there is darkness. As it was in Ezekiel, his word is his bond and his name is the law, and he shall strike down those who dare not listen when he doth speak.

. . . The Hooded Fiend, brilliant, diabolical, devious -- the smartest man you've never met, and will never have the chance. Locked away in the dungeons below a nondescript building, we only bring the Fiend out to post when the situation is most dire.

. . . El Doctor, the tall, dark, hunky, and handsome resident surgeon of Suicide. Women love his strong hands, men respect his keen mind, and Swami requires his wicked wit, but no one understands his almost unholy passion for autos and linen pants.

. . . Man of Wench, that staunch fan of all things Philly and a fine specimen of masculinity, bold enough to tie the knot with the feisty, infamous Wench. Whether at the grill or at the bar, with a healthy glass of vino in his hand he'll bill you by the hour for a taste of his good times.

. . . Master of Macabre, a delightfully sinful and sinister purveyor of doom and gloom, keeper of all things dark and deathly. It is unsure what horrifies more: his spectral air, his cadaverous crypt, his Machiavellian machinations, or his penchant for Princess and the Frog.

. . . Shapeshifter, he of the ever-changing ways, ever-shifting forms, and everlasting enthusiasm. Our newest commentator brings forth pomp, verbosity, and circumstance on scale to rival even the Swami himself. Shifty, yes, and subtle when necessary, his form is never out of fashion.