Swami's NFL Pool 2018: Dirty Dozen

November 20, 2015

Friday Taunt X

In considering all the different ways to go about this Friday Taunt, which is truly a celebration of carnage on massive scale, both mind and crystal ball kept coming back repeatedly to the same general thought: who dares pick against the Beloveds.

Who, indeed? Previous undefeated KayTay, as well as the following now deceased ne'er-do-wells: Nuttman, daShrink, three Big Nasties, CoastieCouple, True Fact, Mission Impossible, Monkey2, and Chupacabra. There are some serious Swami Pool veterans in that bunch ... knowst thou nothing?

The Swami Hex returned in vicious force in Week Ten - Jobu was out for blood. The angry little Haitian man was so angry, in fact, he pulled 20 other poor souls down with the Eagle-riding, Beloved-failing twelve. It was a Dirty Dozen that caused the wrath of Swami and his Jobu friend . . .

. . . and thus, coincidentally, it is a Dirty Dozen that remains.

Only twelve souls still survive. There are no undefeateds. Apparently the only thing you can do to survive a really bad week of carnage is choose the Steelers, who are the only team to have pulled a significant number out of the ashes of the Week That Shall Not Be Named, and now this ugly Week Ten.

Week 10 Stats
189 participants
0 undefeated
12 with one loss
177 deceased
35 week ten losers

*I will post the picks of the remaining twelve on the blog on Sunday night, then follow with a full update during the week.

We are battered and bruised, but perhaps now we have learned our lesson. No more rooting against the Beloveds. No more chaos and devastation. Only twelve remain. So goes forth the Dozen.

That is all.

December 18, 2014

Thursday Taunt XV

It has come down to our final twelve ... and they are so very, very dirty. You do not reach this far into the season without getting those hands at least a little grimy, and our own version of the Dirty Dozen has done just that.

We lost one Amazing participant this past weekend on the unamazing arm of the now-benched Mr. Cutler. When you get benched in favor of a Golden Dome quarterback, you know things are bad.

Week Fifteen Statistics
192 participants
3 undefeated
9 with one loss
180 deceased

'Tis a fine and merry gathering. Here's hoping we all turn out like Wladlislaw.

That is all.

Introducing . . .

. . . Ze German, a frothy, filthy, unfiltered 'Skins-lover bringing you weekly rants from his tapestry-laden castle high upon the Zugspitze peak. There is wisdom and method to his madness, however, so pay attention -- just look out for the women and children.

. . . The Holy Light, and the best of us, a beacon of strength, dignity, and truth, and shining where there is darkness. As it was in Ezekiel, his word is his bond and his name is the law, and he shall strike down those who dare not listen when he doth speak.

. . . The Hooded Fiend, brilliant, diabolical, devious -- the smartest man you've never met, and will never have the chance. Locked away in the dungeons below a nondescript building, we only bring the Fiend out to post when the situation is most dire.

. . . El Doctor, the tall, dark, hunky, and handsome resident surgeon of Suicide. Women love his strong hands, men respect his keen mind, and Swami requires his wicked wit, but no one understands his almost unholy passion for autos and linen pants.

. . . Man of Wench, that staunch fan of all things Philly and a fine specimen of masculinity, bold enough to tie the knot with the feisty, infamous Wench. Whether at the grill or at the bar, with a healthy glass of vino in his hand he'll bill you by the hour for a taste of his good times.

. . . Master of Macabre, a delightfully sinful and sinister purveyor of doom and gloom, keeper of all things dark and deathly. It is unsure what horrifies more: his spectral air, his cadaverous crypt, his Machiavellian machinations, or his penchant for Princess and the Frog.

. . . Shapeshifter, he of the ever-changing ways, ever-shifting forms, and everlasting enthusiasm. Our newest commentator brings forth pomp, verbosity, and circumstance on scale to rival even the Swami himself. Shifty, yes, and subtle when necessary, his form is never out of fashion.