The Root of the Week X

With all possible apologies to Indiana Jones, whose first film Darth Bennett just watched for the first time this very weekend - his comment to the face melting was "get wrecked" - but "X" most certainly does mark the spot.

It marks our move into the tenth week of the Swami Pool, which means any team chosen from here on out is eliminated entirely from future selection - no more soup for you.

It marks our move into double digits, which should be a measure of pride for all those participants who have survived thus far - particularly in a crazy season like this one.

It marks the tip of the second half of the season, which as I have said really starts at the playoff delineation line, and for those lucky enough to experience it you are in for a treat - just the tip of the second half, just to see how it feels.

It marks the entrance to the catacombs for Indy on his Last Crusade.

It is my sincere hope that X does not also mark the spot in which a plethora of participants get eliminated because Cleveland decides it is time to win its annual game.

Lions and Rams and Panthers, oh my - the masses like the animals this week.

Mark the Swami and Clan down entirely on the Lions. Because, as you know, Cleveland.

That is all.

The Root of the Week VIII

This is a difficult week. It is a difficult week, a dastardly week, laborious and burdensome and loathsome. It is an ugly, low down, dirty, knock-down, drag-out, all-around, and altogether ... dare I say it ... HATEFUL week. Fitting, given it is Week the Eighth. Tarantino has vision and the world wears bifocals, and though they be more often as not tinted red, 'tis a splendid vision, indeed.

And so it falls to you, the participants, to look down the list and pick the least of all evils. There is no choice comes not without risk. There are no locks this hateful week eight, there are no "gimme" games or "sure thing" selections. It is survive at all costs, sponsored by Jimmie Dimmick.

Let us discuss the matchups, one by one:

Jags @ Titans ... Completed already, not that anyone who has been a part of this pool for any length of time would ever pick the Titans to beat the Jags. This matchup several years back was cause for one of the greatest upsets in Swami Pool history; 70 participants took the Titans to win ... and they lost. 'Twas also a crowning Swami achievement. Would've also broken the division game rule.

Skins @ Bengals ... Logic dictates this to be one of the better matchups this week. No rules broken, one of the few this can be said about. And yet ... Skins have shown great flashes and sit 4-3, while the Bengals has shown the reverse and sit 3-4. No one would feel great about this one. Swami Sayeth: Bengals 27, Skins 23.

Jets @ Browns ... No one would take the 0-7 Browns to win, would they? No one would take the 2-5 Jets to win on the road, would they? Because Cleveland, maybe, but remember the Tribe is up 3-1. Swami Sayeth: Browns 20, Jets 19. Darth Bennett likes to live dangerously: Cleveland to win.

Seahawks @ Saints ... Is anyone willing to take the Seahawks traveling cross country on the road? Feel like picking against Brees against a banged up Seattle secondary? No broken rules, just broken dreams for the ones who elect to select this one. Swami Sayeth: Saints 27, Seahawks 16.

Cards @ Panthers ... Hope it doesn't come down to a field goal. Panthers are 1-5 and sputtering, but coming off a bye. The Cards have struggled, but still have weapons galore. Swami Sayeth: Cardinals 30, Panthers 20.

Pats @ Bills ... Rules, rules, rules. Bills cannot beat Patriots twice, can they? With Brady back and lighting things up? Pats are on the road against a team that is in their head. Good luck finding your way with this one. Swami Sayeth: Pats 34, Bills 23.

Raiders @ Bucs ... Meh. Swami Sayeth: Raiders 19, Bucs 17.

Chiefs @ Colts ... Reid's boys seem like the logical pick ... they are just on the road. Swami Says: Chiefs 24, Colts 23.

Lions @ Texans ... The best game no one will watch. Lots of scoring, I think, in this one. No one can really trust the Texans, can the Lions be trusted on the road? Swami Sayeth: Lions 33, Texans 19. If you've gotta pick a winner, make it a Lion, says the Factor.

Chargers @ Denver ... Breaks a divison rule and no one ever likes betting for or against the Chargers. Should be a game the Broncos win. Why, then, are my palms sweating? Swami Sayeth: Broncos 17, Chargers 16. The Swami himself takes the Broncos to win.

Packers @ Falcons ... Good luck with either of these teams. Have no idea what to expect so this one's a full shot in the dark. Swami Sayeth: Falcons 31, Packers 30.

Eagles @ Cowboys ... Division rivalry, two top teams, Dak vs Carson. Too many storylines, just one matters. Swami Sayeth: Boys 24, Eagles 20.

Vikings @ Bears ... Who wants to wait until Monday, really. Division game. Favored team on the road. So many rules to break, so little time. No one will actually pick the Bears, of course, but Vikings are a hard pill to swallow. Swami Sayeth Upset Special: Bears 23, Vikings 18.

Only the Swami remains undefeated; the Factor and Darth have one loss apiece, and Mama Bear lives no more. Once again, we roll Browns, Lions, and Broncos. When has that trifecta EVER hit on the same weekend? Good luck to everyone on this hateful, hateful week.

That is all.

The Root of the Week XIV

Everything exists in a delicate balance, and as loyal, courageous denizens of the Swami Pool, you must understand that balance and respect all participants, from Wishful Thinking on up to the Pillow Connoisseur. So sayeth Mufasa, so sayeth the King.

And on this most excellent of evenings, before a most important day of football for so many professional teams -- including the Beloveds -- we pause to reflect, to recognize, and to ultimately bask in the collective glory the remaining few share. So few, so very few remain ... and perhaps even fewer yet on the morrow.

The majority it seems have set their course for Pride Rock. A good course, to be sure, and one the Spawn seems most willing to chart for herself, as well. A potent offense, a strong defense, and an opponent with double digit losses means the Mighty Staffords have as good a chance as any team in the field to finish their weekend off with the big "W".

It does not take much these days to swashbuckle the lowly Buckaroos, as the masses have made clear. Perhaps one or two others -- Saints, Texans -- but the heavy action follows Simba across the plains.

That is all.

The Root of the Week I

Ladies and gentlemen, honored guests, compatriots, colleagues, competitors, and friends, I bid you welcome to another great and glorious year of the Suicide Pool.

It is customary at this time for the host, yours truly, to wax poetic on the wonders of football and the delights of gambling degeneration, the perils and pleasures of weekly team selection. It is customary, but not required, and despite this being the first week, this week I will not.

There are some of you who are new to the Pool, and thus have not had the benefit of my dialogue-ing ways, nor have you come to understand those things in this life I hold most dear. It is quite simple really.

Family. Friends. Fish.

There are many of you, however, who know this deep and soulful truth. There are many of you, any of you who have found the Suicide Pool in past years, who know of my Beloveds, the Miami Dolphins.

And yet you pick against them.

You pick against them, and risk the Swami wrath, and so I shall lay down one of my infamous, diabolical, delicious soothsayer curses: let it be known emphatically at this time that no veteran participant of the Pool who has chosen to ride the Texans in Week One will find themselves standing at the end, when the dust settles, when the champion is crowned. So sayeth the Swami. You have brought this upon yourselves.

Let us now move on to more pleasant topics. For those who are new, there are two staples of the Suicide Pool blog: the Root of the Week and the Tuesday Taunt. In the former, the Swami lays down his weekly pick in advance of Sunday play, as well as the trending popular selections. In the latter, he taunts all those who perished the weekend prior. The Swami* loves chaos, and relishes it.

In classic Week One style, we've got multiple teams on the docket: Texans (boo), Lions, Eagles, Bears, Vikings, Panthers, Saints, Ravens, Seahawks, Jets, Patriots, and Falcons, among others. In other words, the situation is ripe; not all will move unscathed to Week Two. Where does the allegiance of the Swami lie, you ask? Methinks the Big Kitties chow down on the Lunchables of St Louis.

And so, without further ado, I declare this season of Suicide officially open . . . and they're off.

That is all.

*The Swami promises to only sporadically refer to himself in the third person. It shall only be doled out in small doses.