The horses have left the gates, my friends. Hang on to your hats and glasses, Suicide 2014 has begun, and this here's the wildest ride in the wilderness. Things one might find in the wilderness? Let us discuss, I am feeling introspective and I want to introspect. Things one might find in the wilderness:
# - Bears, for one. Lovely, cuddly bears, or a big grizzly, or perhaps a Bear that has woken from hibernation too early, wandering around shell-shocked in the dark and gloom with all 47 of those unfortunate souls who tasted the bitter ash of Week One defeat.
# - Eagles, for another. The kind that soars high above the fray, glorious and majestic, but perhaps also the kind that drinks too much the night before, rolls out of the nest, fumbles around the Foles, and drops like an anvil before finally getting those feathers spread open enough to join his glorious fellows and carry 87 of us on the wind beneath his wings.
Things you will not find in the dog-eat-dog, natural selection, strongest survive wilderness? Parity, which seems to exist --- as has been discussed ad nauseum on the Swami Blog --- in spades in this modern era of the National Football League (feel free to channel Chris Berman upon reading the previous trio of words).
How might one come to such a conclusion? Easy, I have written it on the Internet, and therefore it must be true. This is the way the world works. However, were one looking for more proof, it might be simpler to provide a few facts (and for those who work in government, facts are things that are indisputably the case, like global warming, breakfast boosting metabolism, or Scientology).
Fact #1 - Sixteen teams were chosen in Week One, half the available NFL field.
Fact #2 - Half the teams chosen won.
Fact #3 - Half the teams chosen lost.
Parity 1, Inequality 0.
The numbers, for those counting at home, are up this year in smashing fashion. There are 192 lovely souls on the line, ready to test their mettle against the might of the Suicide Reaper, taker of life, bringer of darkness, lord of the scythe. The number might even climb if there are any late write-in entries that did not make this post. As I've said before, lovingly and caringly, more participants means more potential for utterly bone-headed moves.
Yes, I said BONE-HEADED moves. Like picking against my Beloveds, and risk not only the loss, but the wrath and burden of the Swami Hex. How did that Pats pick work out for you, Mr and Mrs Smith, Bootleg Right, and Monkey? Like the Battle of Camden*. Enjoy it.
You were not alone. With thanks to the Bears, Chiefs, Saints, Bucs, Chargers, Colts, Raiders, and Patriots, fully one-third of the field took the first haircut and buzzed the tower. Below the hard deck does not count, however, so all participants live to lose another day.
Weekly Statistics
192 participants
129 undefeateds
63 with one loss
16 teams chosen
8 losing teams
3 bets against the Beloveds
1 bet on the Raiders
The bell has sounded. The horses have left the gates. The "Liu Xiang 63" have fallen, but the rest continue on unscathed. And so in the immortal words of the Piano Man himself, "And so it goes, and so it goes, and so will you soon I suppose."
That is all.
*Too soon?
