When one glances at the schedule for Week Four of this most excellent 2014 NFL season, one realizes quite quickly that there are few, very few enticing options for risk-averse participants to choose from. It seems this means the masses are moving in divergent directions, which means the potential for chaos is high.
That, and participants be breaking rules all over the place. That sound you hear is the Reaper sharpening his scythe.
Let us consider your foolish ways in depths, oh masses, so that in future weeks or more likely future NFL seasons--should the weekend prove perilous--you might remember the wise words of Swami, you might heed the call, you might adhere to the rules.
There are four, merely four, slightly viable candidates this weekend. Three of this options, at first blush, break rules in dramatic fashion. The first game is my Beloveds at Oakland, but Rule #1 says never pick a team on the road. The second game is Tennessee at Indianapolis, but Rule #2 says never pick a team playing in its own division. And last, finally, last but certainly not least, so many of you, so very many, are taking the Chargers to win at home against the Jaguars, which demolishes Rule #3 which says NEVER EVER pick a game (for or against) that involve the Chargers before Week Six.
I am actually concerned, because some of those participants picking the Chargers are those who have been with us for years. You know who you are. Been here for years, but seemingly not long for the world. Rule #3 is sacrosanct, the most unbreakable of all.
Don't pick the Chargers before Week Six. Don't pick the Chargers before Week Six. Don't pick the Chargers before Week Six. Rinse, Repeat.
Which leaves the Steelers as the obvious choice, at home, out of division, with nary a bolt in sight. Still, Big Ben versus the Bucs leaves little in the way of secure feelings at night, and twas in this moment that realization struck and the pathway was clear: the road game at Oakland is not so much a "road" game given the Silver and Black need travel seven thousand miles.
And so it came to pass that the Swami came to rest upon his Beloveds in Week Four, as fine a place to rest as ever there was, and after a spot of tea and a dance with the Queen on a fair and overcast Sunday afternoon, so too would it come to pass that the Swami and his brood would pass unscathed to Week Five.
That is all.
