A synonym for stupid is dumb, and we all know there's two kinds of dumb: the guy that gets naked, runs out into the snow, and barks at the moon, and the guy who does the same thing in my living room. The first one doesn't matter; the second you're forced to deal with.
There was devastation en masse again in Week Three. There were perhaps five relatively safe picks to be made, and two considered locks. Both locks lost. Three of the five lost. And there was glorious chaos as a result.
I don't have the final figures, but it is entirely possible that this week tops the previous record of 92 deaths in Week Five of last season, when the Seahawks went cross-country and torched the Giants. By virtue of the 49ers, Saints, and Steelers, the 2012 Suicide Pool is in shambles.
Which pleases me, as you know how much I enjoy devastation. It provides fodder for excellent commentary, and my word-smithery knows no bounds.
And yet . . . and yet . . . three weeks is too soon. Too soon for so many to perish.
And so like the Phoenix of old rising from the ashes, reborn, remade, made whole, so too will there be grace granted to the Suicide Pool participants of 2012. You will not be remade, no, but you will be offered a second lease on life. A second life, if you will.
Announcing the first ever Swami Suicide Second Life Pool, offered only and exclusively to those participants in the main event this year. It is offered to all participants, even those still alive in the main event. It will be a separate pool, however; there will be no cross-over.
Details are forthcoming, but I can drop the following tidbits: (1) we will begin in Week 5; (2) playoff rules will be the same as the main event; (3) you can enter up to 3 times, with $20 for 1, $40 for 2, and $50 for 3; (4) you will get two losses, BUT if your first loss comes with a deficit of MORE THAN 14 points, you are knocked out of the pool entirely, so choose well.
It seems the Swami has a heart after all. My benevolence, as well, knows no bounds.
That is all.
