Swami's NFL Pool 2018: Friday Taunt VII

October 28, 2016

Friday Taunt VII

Twenty four people stepped up to the board with Bart by their side, stinging from the loss, to write "I WILL NOT DO THE DIRTY BIRD" in powder white.

It is a season of slow bleed. There has not been any crushing week of loss, but each week has seen a consistent level of chaos -- which keeps the Reaper busy, but does not satisfy. By comparison, there are almost 50 more participants still alive this season than were at the same point last season.

At this rate, we are on pace to make it to the end of the regular season, which means the playoff rules -- rapidly approaching after Week Nine -- will be important once again.

Weekend Stats
202 participants
115 still alive
40 undefeated
75 with one loss
87 deceased

Onward we roll to Week Eight with many teams on the bye. Good luck to all those who still breathe, may your Monday morning breath be your finest yet.

That is all.

Introducing . . .

. . . Ze German, a frothy, filthy, unfiltered 'Skins-lover bringing you weekly rants from his tapestry-laden castle high upon the Zugspitze peak. There is wisdom and method to his madness, however, so pay attention -- just look out for the women and children.

. . . The Holy Light, and the best of us, a beacon of strength, dignity, and truth, and shining where there is darkness. As it was in Ezekiel, his word is his bond and his name is the law, and he shall strike down those who dare not listen when he doth speak.

. . . The Hooded Fiend, brilliant, diabolical, devious -- the smartest man you've never met, and will never have the chance. Locked away in the dungeons below a nondescript building, we only bring the Fiend out to post when the situation is most dire.

. . . El Doctor, the tall, dark, hunky, and handsome resident surgeon of Suicide. Women love his strong hands, men respect his keen mind, and Swami requires his wicked wit, but no one understands his almost unholy passion for autos and linen pants.

. . . Man of Wench, that staunch fan of all things Philly and a fine specimen of masculinity, bold enough to tie the knot with the feisty, infamous Wench. Whether at the grill or at the bar, with a healthy glass of vino in his hand he'll bill you by the hour for a taste of his good times.

. . . Master of Macabre, a delightfully sinful and sinister purveyor of doom and gloom, keeper of all things dark and deathly. It is unsure what horrifies more: his spectral air, his cadaverous crypt, his Machiavellian machinations, or his penchant for Princess and the Frog.

. . . Shapeshifter, he of the ever-changing ways, ever-shifting forms, and everlasting enthusiasm. Our newest commentator brings forth pomp, verbosity, and circumstance on scale to rival even the Swami himself. Shifty, yes, and subtle when necessary, his form is never out of fashion.