At long last, statistics. I know how long you have waited, I know how long you have salivated, I know how long you have chewed and chewed and chewed . . . so here I am to double your pleasure and double your fun with a healthy helping of Double Taunt for this most excellent Week the Fifth.
Let us begin with a flashback, however, to Week Four. It was not a pretty week, so I imagine a fair number of you were quite happy with a limited report -- after all, there is no need to wallow in the inferiority of your football acumen. The actual number of those who tasted bitter defeat in Week Four is 67, with a double dozen on their way out the door for good. Most damage was done at the hands of a trendy pre-season Superbowl matchup with the Pats and Cards doing it dirty, and coasting to losses. It might still happen, of course, those teams in the Big Dance, but that will not be of any consolation to those who dearly departed at their hands.
Week Four also saw a fair number of participants elect inexplicably to take the Bengals against the Beloveds, thereby bringing further down the Swami Hex upon themselves. It has become so rampant that the Update Spreadsheet now includes color coding to discern just who still has the Hex upon them, and woe be to those poor souls.
I also understand that some of you might be likely to look to ride the Steelers in Week Six; let me caution you against such foolishness. Manny P, Guapo, and the devilish HARLEYqWIN have already declared their intentions to visit Steeltown this week at the expense of the Beloveds; while it might seem tempting to follow an unabashed coquette like the pig-tailed Harley, there is naught but hex and heartache to be found at the end of that particular road.
Which brings us out of our comic-inspired digression and back into the glorious land of the pigskin, and the light-heartedness that we call Week Five. It was a casual affair, only a fine fifteen finding their way into the loss column -- with a ten-spot given the boot for the final time. It was a small but illustrious group of losers, including one previous winner and a pair of past-year finalists.
The Patriots and Steelers were the safe picks. I would like to add a special congratulations to Duster D 04, who accomplished something heretofore thought impossible: this bold man chose the Raiders to win, and won. Well played, sir. Well played, indeed.
And now we come to the moment you've all been waiting for, a Double Dose of the Weekly Statistics:
202 participants
157 still alive
71 undefeated at 5-0
86 with one loss at 4-1
56 deceased with two losses
41 losers on the cards week four
67 week four losers
15 week five losers
1 undefeated swami at 5-0
1 undefeated swami wife at 5-0
2 swami kids at 4-1
Week Six is around the corner, only one more week before the Rule ends and the Chargers can be selected once again. Only four more weeks before the Playoff Rules go into effect. If you do not know the Playoff Rules (and by rules I mean the actual logistics of the pool, not my own personal Swami rules) -- and these rules are vital so make sure you have them down. Basic strategy demands you do.
Nearly on third of the way there; to those who remain, well done. It is a success to have survived this long. Give yourself a hearty pat on the back -- nay, in honor of the double dose, give yourself two pats. Want someone else to pat your back for you? Well, the Reaper is happy to oblige.
Here endeth the Double Dose.
That is all.
