On the eve of Week Fifteen, the Spawn has elected to walk amongst Giants. She has braved the heights of the beanstalk and sought her fortunes among the clouds ... and only tomorrow's time will tell if she is ground into bread or returns from on high with the golden goose. She seeks to find the elusive Tyree Giant and avoid the oft-insatiable Interception Giant, which has been known to sleep for weeks on end before rearing its ugly head.
As for the rest of the survivors, those merry few, the undisputed cream, we have Lions and Chiefs already come in, with more picks to follow. Who knows which way which participant will go, for at this point the whole shebang is a crap-shoot of gargantuan proportions --- indeed, dare I say, a feat fit for Giants.
That is all.
The dominoes are falling. With the fourteenth week in the books, three more participants bid adieu to the 2014 Suicide Pool. Graham's Girl and G-Pa have fallen for the third and final time, along with the last of the Mallory's.
Still three undefeateds, joined by their ten one-loss fellows. Most of the action tamed the Lions this past weekend, with a bit of Texans help thrown in and one lone Viking fan narrowly escaping defeat.
Week Fourteen Statistics
3 undeated at 14-0
10 with one loss at 13-1
179 deceased
For comparisons sake, in Week Fifteen last season (2013) there were only 5 souls left. In 2012, there were 22 remaining at this time. In 2011, there were 8 still alive. In 2010, there were 28. So we seem, in this most interesting year, to be right at about the five-year average for this point in the season, even if none of the years have actually been in the general range.
Also worth noting: lots of veterans in the ranks of those left alive, men and women with significant end of season experience. Pillow Connoisseur, Shiner, J-Ro, Hitman, Monkey, and Wick and Chick all have graced the hallowed halls of year's end success, and will be tough to beat for the rest of the field.
So strap on that black rubber glove that you rent with an option to buy, skin that smoke wagon and go to work.
That is all.
Everything exists in a delicate balance, and as loyal, courageous denizens of the Swami Pool, you must understand that balance and respect all participants, from Wishful Thinking on up to the Pillow Connoisseur. So sayeth Mufasa, so sayeth the King.
And on this most excellent of evenings, before a most important day of football for so many professional teams -- including the Beloveds -- we pause to reflect, to recognize, and to ultimately bask in the collective glory the remaining few share. So few, so very few remain ... and perhaps even fewer yet on the morrow.
The majority it seems have set their course for Pride Rock. A good course, to be sure, and one the Spawn seems most willing to chart for herself, as well. A potent offense, a strong defense, and an opponent with double digit losses means the Mighty Staffords have as good a chance as any team in the field to finish their weekend off with the big "W".
It does not take much these days to swashbuckle the lowly Buckaroos, as the masses have made clear. Perhaps one or two others -- Saints, Texans -- but the heavy action follows Simba across the plains.
That is all.
Milk, if left by itself, undergoes a process called homogenization.
During this process, the lighter fatty portions of the milk rise to the
top due to lesser density. Very much like oil and water. The fatty
portions are then skimmed and made into a separate product: cream.
In the figurative sense, cream is considered the more expensive, more
valuable, and therefore better of the two dairy products, so it is used
as an expression meaning someone or something better than the rest. So
"cream", or the better person or thing, shall always eventually end up
rising to the top and being acknowledged as such.
We would like to at this time acknowledge the cream of the Suicide Pool 2014 crop. Remaining participants, take your bow. There were no losses this week for the first time this year, not surprising given it being Marino Week, and so in celebration of the most perfect arm in the history of football, the Reaper, too, stood idly by.
And so we still have our sixteen participants, three unscathed and thirteen hoping to survive another week --- and even cream has its betters and its worst, and so in short order we will discover who has it within them to separate even from the very top of the field ... and claim the mantle of champion.
That is all.
It's Marino week. Let us all take a moment to reflect upon the best arm in the business ... Alright, on to the more important matters at hand.
We have three and thirteen in Week 13, three undefeateds and thirteen one lossers. There is more pressure on the remaining participants than the derrier of Cameron Frye. This includes the masses rooting for the Rams of St. Louis, the prevailing pick, as well as the Swami Spawn, who pins her American Girl doll purchase fates on the Lone Star state this weekend, in the form of JJ Watt and his glorious Texans.
Run, Arian, run.
That is all.
It is really getting down to hard-to-watch time. There is no easy game this season in the National Football League, no clearly defined team who will carry a participant to victory with absolutely certainty. Brady's Pats? Rolling now but have been inconsistent. Manning's Mile High Club? Capable of laying a midwestern egg. Defending Champion Seahawks? Responsible for more losses than any other this year.
There is nowhere to run. There is nowhere to hide. Miraculously, however, most of our merry little band of remaining players made it past Week Twelve. We bid adieu, sadly, to three poor souls who held onto Saintly, Chiefly hopes.
Including DADY, the defending Suicide Pool Champion.
Week Twelve Stats
3 undefeated at 12-0
13 with one loss at 11-1
176 deceased
We have come to Marino Week, which also happens to coincide with the Giving of Thanks Day, and so on this fine evening, when the Reaper takes leave of our midst and travels round to scythe many a turkey in advance of the feast, I wish all a very, quite Happy Thanksgiving.
That is all.
Time to push the chips in. We enter Week 12 already down two more who drop kicked the bucket via the Chiefs on Thursday night, which means 17 faithful souls enter battle on the morrow. Shuffle up and deal.
The masses have little choices left and everyone is taking their sweet time getting me picks, so not much is known going in on who is taking whom, but the update will come Monday to ease the minds of those who need to know.
Spawn is the only Swami clanswoman left standing, and standing she is well as one of three unscathed. Tomorrow she hopes to ride off into the sunset on the back of a fine filly, powered by the arm of a little Luck.
The Colts, it is.
That is all.
In the words of the immortal Al Swearengen, "bloodletting on my premises that I ain't approved I take as a ****ing affront. It puts me off my feed."
Make no mistake, Week Eleven was a bloodletting, like some medieval doctor strapped 24 participants to a chair and took out the needle and the knife. It hurt, bad, and our numbers are nearly halved: 17 of the 26 one loss teams went down to defeat, and dropped below the line --- including yours truly, and the bells you hear ringing in that far off place sound the knell of the Swami himself.
The undefeateds took it even harder on the chin, with seven of ten taking their first loss. We now have only a trio of unscathed souls: Pillow Connoisseur and Shiner, both veterans of the pool, and the Spawn of Swami, my own flesh and blood --- who happens to be a 9-year-old girl.
And so we arrive at Week Twelve, noticeably thinner, with pressures mounting and good options dwindling. When the majority take the Redskins, you know your good options are dwindling.
To those who remain, in the words of Al Swearengen, "pain or damage don't end the world, or despair, or ****ing beatin's. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man ... and give some back."
That is all.
On this fine Sunday of glorious Week Eleven, the schizophrenia is starting to set in. The masses are moving far and wide in a variety of dangerous directions as the group seeks to avoid the Reaper and survive another round.
The Beloveds already have their playoff-import win in the bag, and I will thank very much those of you who tuned in Thursday, and so now the rest of the field follows with a slate filled with intriguing NFL playoff possible matchups featuring some of the best teams in the league pitted against one another.
Which is great for ratings, but not so great for you. The list of selected teams reads like a who's-who of averageness: Redskins, Steelers, Saints, Browns.
Of course, then there are the Swami selections. At this point it becomes nearly impossible not to break a few rules, and the Swami and Spawn will each break rules this week. The Spawn will throw caution to the wind and take the Super Chargers in a division match, while the Swami himself --- in what actually should be the safest pick of the wick --- will ride the Broncos to greatness as they travel to Arch City.
Good luck to all as our merry band of 36 survivors rolls on.
That is all.
The Swami has fallen. A special thank you to the NFL Replay officiating booth, who saw fit to uphold a call on the Jimmy Graham Hail Mary touchdown non-catch that is, by measure of every official except -- apparently -- the five on the field in New Orleans on Sunday, never to be made, thereby extending the game into overtime ... and leading to the Swami's first loss.
No matter, you cannot win your own pool in any event. I'm always shooting for a comfortable bronze medal finish. Suicide Rook, Beginners Luck, and Man About Autumn will know how much I enjoy those.
Still, I am alive, which is more than can be said for the seven who went quietly into that good night. Only 36 now remain with 10 undefeated, and the noose begins to tighten and the pressure begins to mount.
Our ten-spot of undefeateds include six Suicide Pool veterans, including two past winners, plus a rookie, two members of Clan Titus, and a nine year-old girl, the Swami's own spawn.
Special Swami powers will go to those who elect to watch and root for the Beloveds on Thursday Night Football this very night, powers which might just be enough to turn the tide in your favor this weekend. Like the lobster thermador, I highly recommend it, senor.
That is all.
