Swami's NFL Pool 2018: The Root of the Week X

November 11, 2012

The Root of the Week X

Ah, the glory of the orange and teal.

It seems more than myself will cheerlead the Beloveds this weekend, as they hold court at home versus the Titans of Tennessee. The Factor and the Spawn shall place their faith in the Fish, as well as Swami in Second Life, along with many of you. The Beloveds are on the up-and-up, and praise be to Philbin and all his merry men for bringing the sunshine back to the tip of the Sunshine State.

Let's look for a little Bush in the end zone this week, shall we? You know Curtis Armstrong will be watching, digging deep.

As for the rest of you, the root is on for Steel City this week, and you'll all have to wait until Monday night to watch them disassemble the hapless Chiefs. And for those not paying attention, Romeo Crennel has vowed to bench any player who commits a turnover; I'm not entirely sure how many men he'll have left by quarter four.

That is all.

Introducing . . .

. . . Ze German, a frothy, filthy, unfiltered 'Skins-lover bringing you weekly rants from his tapestry-laden castle high upon the Zugspitze peak. There is wisdom and method to his madness, however, so pay attention -- just look out for the women and children.

. . . The Holy Light, and the best of us, a beacon of strength, dignity, and truth, and shining where there is darkness. As it was in Ezekiel, his word is his bond and his name is the law, and he shall strike down those who dare not listen when he doth speak.

. . . The Hooded Fiend, brilliant, diabolical, devious -- the smartest man you've never met, and will never have the chance. Locked away in the dungeons below a nondescript building, we only bring the Fiend out to post when the situation is most dire.

. . . El Doctor, the tall, dark, hunky, and handsome resident surgeon of Suicide. Women love his strong hands, men respect his keen mind, and Swami requires his wicked wit, but no one understands his almost unholy passion for autos and linen pants.

. . . Man of Wench, that staunch fan of all things Philly and a fine specimen of masculinity, bold enough to tie the knot with the feisty, infamous Wench. Whether at the grill or at the bar, with a healthy glass of vino in his hand he'll bill you by the hour for a taste of his good times.

. . . Master of Macabre, a delightfully sinful and sinister purveyor of doom and gloom, keeper of all things dark and deathly. It is unsure what horrifies more: his spectral air, his cadaverous crypt, his Machiavellian machinations, or his penchant for Princess and the Frog.

. . . Shapeshifter, he of the ever-changing ways, ever-shifting forms, and everlasting enthusiasm. Our newest commentator brings forth pomp, verbosity, and circumstance on scale to rival even the Swami himself. Shifty, yes, and subtle when necessary, his form is never out of fashion.