Swami's NFL Pool 2018: The Root of the Week VI

October 15, 2017

The Root of the Week VI

It is worth reminding those who have forgotten - as well as those who have not yet heard - of the Swami Hex. To pick against the Swami's Beloved Dolphins incurs the wrath of the Swami, and brings down upon thee the dreaded Swami Hex.

No participant with the Hex in place has ever won the Swami Pool.

How do you get rid of the Hex if you have it on you? You must pick the Dolphins to win, and win. Otherwise, only getting knocked out of the pool entirely ends the Hex.

The Falcons are a popular pick despite this warning. We shall see just what fate and fortune brings this crazy mixed up NFL Week Six. Texans are another popular pick, as are the Broncos. Redskins bringing up the rear.

As for the Swami Clan, picks this week are as follows as we venture into different directions for the first time in several weeks: Swami himself rides the Broncos, the Factor factors in for the Texans, Avalor as well supports Houston, the Spawn scalps alongside the Redskins, and Darth joins his patriarch in Denver. Not all of us will get through unscathed.

That is all.

Introducing . . .

. . . Ze German, a frothy, filthy, unfiltered 'Skins-lover bringing you weekly rants from his tapestry-laden castle high upon the Zugspitze peak. There is wisdom and method to his madness, however, so pay attention -- just look out for the women and children.

. . . The Holy Light, and the best of us, a beacon of strength, dignity, and truth, and shining where there is darkness. As it was in Ezekiel, his word is his bond and his name is the law, and he shall strike down those who dare not listen when he doth speak.

. . . The Hooded Fiend, brilliant, diabolical, devious -- the smartest man you've never met, and will never have the chance. Locked away in the dungeons below a nondescript building, we only bring the Fiend out to post when the situation is most dire.

. . . El Doctor, the tall, dark, hunky, and handsome resident surgeon of Suicide. Women love his strong hands, men respect his keen mind, and Swami requires his wicked wit, but no one understands his almost unholy passion for autos and linen pants.

. . . Man of Wench, that staunch fan of all things Philly and a fine specimen of masculinity, bold enough to tie the knot with the feisty, infamous Wench. Whether at the grill or at the bar, with a healthy glass of vino in his hand he'll bill you by the hour for a taste of his good times.

. . . Master of Macabre, a delightfully sinful and sinister purveyor of doom and gloom, keeper of all things dark and deathly. It is unsure what horrifies more: his spectral air, his cadaverous crypt, his Machiavellian machinations, or his penchant for Princess and the Frog.

. . . Shapeshifter, he of the ever-changing ways, ever-shifting forms, and everlasting enthusiasm. Our newest commentator brings forth pomp, verbosity, and circumstance on scale to rival even the Swami himself. Shifty, yes, and subtle when necessary, his form is never out of fashion.