Swami's NFL Pool 2018: The Root of the Taunt of the End of the Regular Season

January 5, 2017

The Root of the Taunt of the End of the Regular Season

Ladies and gentlemen, the cream has risen.

We bid adieu to the Swami himself, as well as more than a score of others since the last post; the Chargers struck once more, and brought along the Titans, Bucs, Redskins, and Rams to decimate the remaining field.

Week Sixteen was not sweet at all, a true Reaper's Delight; only six were unscathed. Week Seventeen three more bit the dust, Swami Pool veterans all, scalped and left for dead by those vicious politically incorrect Native Americans. Ze German shed a few tears on your behalf, I am sure.

End of Regular Season Statistics
202 participants
1 undefeated
12 with one loss
189 deceased

You will notice that only one participant remains undefeated ... well, actually technically two: Ber and Her, take a bow. This pleasant pairing of Westmac of old owns the top spot and is the only team to walk through the regular season unblemished. This has happened a handful of times before ... and usually in this case the reality show producer in me rears his beautiful and slightly ugly head.

Therefore, Ber and Her, I will offer to purchase one life from you for $400. That's right, if you take a loss right now and enter the playoffs with an even playing field, you will pocket $400 of pool winnings. You have until close of business on Friday to decide. Check back here to see if they took the deal. Is a bird in the hand really worth it? Ber and Her will answer that age-old question by Friday.

You will also note in viewing the spreadsheet that only three participants remain who still have the Swami Hex upon them; all others have fallen. I would be very concerned at this point if I was Mr. Mister, The Missing Link, and Back Nine Ben. The Hex is still upon you and only rolling with the Dolphins this weekend will remove the curse.

Playoff Rules Reminder: You may pick any team you either (1) did not use during the regular season or (2) picked between weeks one and nine. You may not use a team twice in the playoffs. Please remember that the pairings may shuffle in round two of playoffs depending on who wins (the NFL reseeds).

The cream has risen. The noose tightens further. Ber and Her is on the clock.

That is all.

Introducing . . .

. . . Ze German, a frothy, filthy, unfiltered 'Skins-lover bringing you weekly rants from his tapestry-laden castle high upon the Zugspitze peak. There is wisdom and method to his madness, however, so pay attention -- just look out for the women and children.

. . . The Holy Light, and the best of us, a beacon of strength, dignity, and truth, and shining where there is darkness. As it was in Ezekiel, his word is his bond and his name is the law, and he shall strike down those who dare not listen when he doth speak.

. . . The Hooded Fiend, brilliant, diabolical, devious -- the smartest man you've never met, and will never have the chance. Locked away in the dungeons below a nondescript building, we only bring the Fiend out to post when the situation is most dire.

. . . El Doctor, the tall, dark, hunky, and handsome resident surgeon of Suicide. Women love his strong hands, men respect his keen mind, and Swami requires his wicked wit, but no one understands his almost unholy passion for autos and linen pants.

. . . Man of Wench, that staunch fan of all things Philly and a fine specimen of masculinity, bold enough to tie the knot with the feisty, infamous Wench. Whether at the grill or at the bar, with a healthy glass of vino in his hand he'll bill you by the hour for a taste of his good times.

. . . Master of Macabre, a delightfully sinful and sinister purveyor of doom and gloom, keeper of all things dark and deathly. It is unsure what horrifies more: his spectral air, his cadaverous crypt, his Machiavellian machinations, or his penchant for Princess and the Frog.

. . . Shapeshifter, he of the ever-changing ways, ever-shifting forms, and everlasting enthusiasm. Our newest commentator brings forth pomp, verbosity, and circumstance on scale to rival even the Swami himself. Shifty, yes, and subtle when necessary, his form is never out of fashion.