Swami's NFL Pool 2018: Tuesday Taunt XVII

December 30, 2014

Tuesday Taunt XVII

Only the best of the best make the playoffs. Some are bloodied, some are bruised, even those who manage to get through undefeated come not without scars of their own. For instance this 2014 year, the Spawn has won five different weeks with her chosen team down double digits near or at half-time. We saw it once again this weekend with the Saints. Our Texans friends also survived a significant scare.

We do bid adieu to Wick & Chick, whose glorious run ended with the shooting of their Falcons down out of the sky. The Panthers used a cannon, not a pistol, so at least there was not too much pain.

And so on we merrily roll this Holiday Season into the playoffs, which we reach with seven surviving participants: Hitman, Pillow Connoisseur, Shiner, Junior, J-Ro, Monkey, and of course the unscathed Spawn of Swami.

For those remaining, a playoffs primer:

# - You must pick one team each remaining week: the Wild Card round this coming weekend, the Divisional Round, the Championship Round, and the Superbowl if we make it that far. In total, you will have four selections left to make.

# - You may use any team not selected during the regular season, as well as any team used during Weeks 1-9 of the regular season, but starting now any team from that group used may not be used again for the rest of the season.

# - As far as the payout goes, we will wait and see how the remaining participants fare after the first weekend. We will not payout all seven unless all seven make it successfully past the Superbowl. We paid out five people last year based on how things finished, we paid out three the year before, and we have had seasons where only one or two get paid out. It is all dependent upon how things finish. If there is a tie, the pot will be split.

The schedule for this first Wild Card weekend is as follows:

Saturday, Jan. 3
NFC: No. 5 Arizona Cardinals at No. 4 Carolina Panthers, 1:35 p.m. PST (ESPN)
AFC: No. 6 Baltimore at No. 3 Pittsburgh, 5:15 p.m. PST (NBC)

Sunday, Jan. 4
AFC: No. 5 Cincinnati at No. 4 Indianapolis 10:05 a.m. PST (CBS)
NFC: No. 6 Detroit at No. 3 Cowboys 1:40 p.m. PST (Fox)

Good luck to all remaining participants. May the Best of the Best of the Best win it all.

That is all.

Introducing . . .

. . . Ze German, a frothy, filthy, unfiltered 'Skins-lover bringing you weekly rants from his tapestry-laden castle high upon the Zugspitze peak. There is wisdom and method to his madness, however, so pay attention -- just look out for the women and children.

. . . The Holy Light, and the best of us, a beacon of strength, dignity, and truth, and shining where there is darkness. As it was in Ezekiel, his word is his bond and his name is the law, and he shall strike down those who dare not listen when he doth speak.

. . . The Hooded Fiend, brilliant, diabolical, devious -- the smartest man you've never met, and will never have the chance. Locked away in the dungeons below a nondescript building, we only bring the Fiend out to post when the situation is most dire.

. . . El Doctor, the tall, dark, hunky, and handsome resident surgeon of Suicide. Women love his strong hands, men respect his keen mind, and Swami requires his wicked wit, but no one understands his almost unholy passion for autos and linen pants.

. . . Man of Wench, that staunch fan of all things Philly and a fine specimen of masculinity, bold enough to tie the knot with the feisty, infamous Wench. Whether at the grill or at the bar, with a healthy glass of vino in his hand he'll bill you by the hour for a taste of his good times.

. . . Master of Macabre, a delightfully sinful and sinister purveyor of doom and gloom, keeper of all things dark and deathly. It is unsure what horrifies more: his spectral air, his cadaverous crypt, his Machiavellian machinations, or his penchant for Princess and the Frog.

. . . Shapeshifter, he of the ever-changing ways, ever-shifting forms, and everlasting enthusiasm. Our newest commentator brings forth pomp, verbosity, and circumstance on scale to rival even the Swami himself. Shifty, yes, and subtle when necessary, his form is never out of fashion.