Swami's NFL Pool 2018: The Root of the Week IX

November 4, 2018

The Root of the Week IX

Separation once again. This is a pivotal week, there are no easy matchups, and therefore separation is on the menu. The strong will separate from the weak. The talented will separate from the mediocre. The kids will separate from the parents.

As in, no more tandem jumping. The Swami Clan has tandem jumped almost every week this season ... with mostly great success ... but will now be taking their talents in different directions.

Why, you ask?

Well, Week Three saw the Clan take the Vikings at home against the Bills -- and go down 24-0 in the first quarter of the game, ne'er to recover. So while the Bears traveling into Buffalo seems like a fantabulous proposition, the Swami remembers.

The Patriots in November is always a good bet, particularly out of their own divisions, but the Packers are desperate and Discount Double Check is very excited to best the GOAT Tom Brady.

Hence, the tandem split. The kids will roll Patriots and the grown-ups will roll Bears.

That is all.

Introducing . . .

. . . Ze German, a frothy, filthy, unfiltered 'Skins-lover bringing you weekly rants from his tapestry-laden castle high upon the Zugspitze peak. There is wisdom and method to his madness, however, so pay attention -- just look out for the women and children.

. . . The Holy Light, and the best of us, a beacon of strength, dignity, and truth, and shining where there is darkness. As it was in Ezekiel, his word is his bond and his name is the law, and he shall strike down those who dare not listen when he doth speak.

. . . The Hooded Fiend, brilliant, diabolical, devious -- the smartest man you've never met, and will never have the chance. Locked away in the dungeons below a nondescript building, we only bring the Fiend out to post when the situation is most dire.

. . . El Doctor, the tall, dark, hunky, and handsome resident surgeon of Suicide. Women love his strong hands, men respect his keen mind, and Swami requires his wicked wit, but no one understands his almost unholy passion for autos and linen pants.

. . . Man of Wench, that staunch fan of all things Philly and a fine specimen of masculinity, bold enough to tie the knot with the feisty, infamous Wench. Whether at the grill or at the bar, with a healthy glass of vino in his hand he'll bill you by the hour for a taste of his good times.

. . . Master of Macabre, a delightfully sinful and sinister purveyor of doom and gloom, keeper of all things dark and deathly. It is unsure what horrifies more: his spectral air, his cadaverous crypt, his Machiavellian machinations, or his penchant for Princess and the Frog.

. . . Shapeshifter, he of the ever-changing ways, ever-shifting forms, and everlasting enthusiasm. Our newest commentator brings forth pomp, verbosity, and circumstance on scale to rival even the Swami himself. Shifty, yes, and subtle when necessary, his form is never out of fashion.